For What It's Worth

Dwindlng hope.

2010-05-05T02:04:00.007-05:00

Depending on the day, using humor is my way of making unfavorable situations into something positive. It lets me coat something that's definably dark with something light. It's my way of coping with life, really.

May 1st was the multiple seat deadline for AADSAS. That means the application company in charge of dental applications sent a list to the dental schools of accepted dental students with multiple seats at different schools. These schools then send out emails to these students, requiring them to make a choice of which school they want to attend within a small time frame. Seats inevitably (or at least hopefully) open up at these schools, allowing waitlisted students/applications in the "Maybe" pile to be enrolled or interviewed.

Through all the rejection letters and bad news, you would think I would have lost any hope of getting into these schools, and most of the time that's how I feel. But this week, I am just praying, hoping and wishing one of these schools will send good news my way. I'm grasping on to dwindling hope that one of the last 4 schools on my list accepts me. As my mom has always reminded me, "You only need one" or "One of those schools is a yes."

Realistically, I shouldn't get my hopes up. There's no point, because when it doesn't happen, I'll just come crashing down again, like my latest disappointment. And I don't want to feel that way during my last week at SLU and graduation. I just do not want that at all. But it's the optimistic spirit in me that keeps trying to break through. I think it comes from wanting this so, so badly. There has been absolutely nothing in my life that I've ever wanted more than this, and I think that believing the "regret to inform you..." line will finally turn into a "we want to congratulate and welcome you to..." line has made my optimism go up again.

I don't want to have a good feeling, because lately my instincts have only led me to disappointment. Some nights I have dreams of being accepted, and other nights I have flashbacks or over-exaggerations of being denied, with me waking up with feeling of anxiety, emptiness and restlessness. I can only wait to see which of these will actually come true, and hopefully it's the former rather than the latter.

STL Memories #2: Formals

2010-05-03T10:43:00.008-05:00

A few weeks ago was my last invitation to a college formal of sorts. Whatever it's for - a study group on campus, Greek life, or work function, formals are soon to be a thing of the past. It will never really be appropriate or socially acceptable to get dressed up in a shirt and tie (or a dress of sorts), pre-game with friends before the event (taking shots and playing beer pong), and then go to a banquet hall or restaurant, drink some more and dance like there's no tomorrow, and then meet up at the bar afterward. The excuse "It's college" will never be able to be used again.

Regardless, these formals have given me memories and stories that I will always remember and that will be brought up in the future at reunions as flashbacks to the heydays of college. I look forward to the day when these memories can be relived at bachelor parties and weddings of my friends. Weddings are basically parallel to formals, except there's an actual important event taking place that calls for celebration. My friend Bridget showed me a picture of her cousin's wedding reception, with all of the bride and groom's friends from college. That picture represented what I hope my college friendships will be - lifelong, meaningful, and supportive. It'll just be like college - the booze will be pouring, the bass will be bumping, and me and my college friends will be able to relive some of the best days of our lives, if only for just one night.

[Living on Prayer.]

[never ones to miss a great photo-op.]

STL Memories #1: Food

2010-04-28T02:25:00.008-05:00

As graduation draws closer, I thought it be a nice tribute to have posts about particular things/list of things that I'm going to miss from my STL/SLU experience. Not to begin on the saddest note, lets start with something I love - FOOD. St. Louis has provided my taste buds with a plethora of goods, and I hope that these establishments will still be around when I come back to visit. If not, I'll always have them in my heart.

1. Pappy's Smokehouse

Damn good BBQ. It is one of the best places I've been to for some good 'ol ribs, brisket, or pulled pork. The sides are just as delicious - sweet potato fries, green beans, potato salad, cole slaw. The line is usually out the door, but I'll wait for it. It's THAT good.

2. Pho Grand

Great Vietnamese food. I saw it on Rachel Ray's tasty tavels, and it had me at first watch. Located down South Grand, Pho Grand is a must stop. It is one of the few places I have gone since Freshman year with my friends and my family when they came into town. Grand - that is what you are Pho.

3. Everest Cafe

[The owners, Mr. and Mrs. Devi States in their Manchester location, via RFT]

= LOVE. Best buffet in the city, with food influences from India, Nepal, and Korea. Awesome owners, the States, who I have formed a friendly rapport with (they just got a membership at the rec center! If I have ever strategically formed a frienship in my life, this is it.), who believe in the holistic caring of the human body. When I do grow older and hopefully have a nice income, I WILL donate to Dr. State's Himalayan Family Healthcare Project and possibly be a part of it. Outside the delicious food, it just brings great memories of Friday Buffet with the family, spending time before the weekend and catching up with new from the past week. Chowing down 2+ plates and going into a food coma will be memories I'll always have and cherish.

4. Ted Drewes

Famous St. Louis frozen custard. Words can't describe it. You just have to try it. I've had it twice this week already if that says anything.

5. Fro-Yo

Who can resist awesome frozen yogurt with any type of toppings you want on top??? I NEED to find a place like this back in Chicago close to me. Location is key too, and being smack dab in the middle of the Loop adds to its appeal.

Honorable mentions

Jack in the Box (We don't have them in Chicago!)
Chik-Fil-A (nor these!)
Sweetie Pies
Pi Pizzeria
The U

Where You At - Taeyang

2010-04-19T12:39:00.006-05:00

If I was an Asian pop star, I'd want to be Taeyang. He is the Asian equivalent of Ne-Yo. Do I know what he's saying? No. But it sounds good. The beat is sick. And his dance moves are crisp and clean. His haircut is wack, but it's an Asian thing.

we regret to inform you.

2010-04-07T12:05:00.004-05:00

When things don't turn out the way your planned, its hard to keep the optimism up. There are bigger and worse things can happen and ARE happening in the world, and I keep reminding myself of this. But in this moment, in my life and things that deal with me, this is a huge boulder and bump in the road. I keep opening the e-mail thinking I had read it wrong, but that's just my wishful thinking. It's so ironic that it happened yesterday. I woke up feeling great and actually looked in the mirror and thought to myself "Good news is going to come today. I can feel it." I really did. My instincts are clearly wrong.

I'm trying to keep a positive attitude about things and the future, but this one hurt in particular and its another wake up call. I can't even talk about it or think about it because I just get so upset. I don't want to look at alternatives. There was no plan for alternatives. Even though I have looked at other things just to have a plan B, I never intended on actually having to pursue them. This is all I had planned for and it seems like my worst case scenario is going to happen.

Graduation is now just going to be an anti-climatic event. A piece of paper that means nothing; absolutely nothing to me. A reminder I had failed basically. Whoop. dee. do.

I keep getting reminded and I know things will work out; just not the way I had intended.

She and Him Live

2010-04-06T03:07:00.001-05:00

Zooey Deschanel, please marry me. Thanks.

Final Inning Stretch

2010-04-05T02:08:00.005-05:00

Easter break has come and gone. It was great to be back home, especially since I haven't been home since January, but knowing that this may be what life after graduation may be like if things don't work out the way I envision is not the best feeling, nor what I had in mind. I just keep hoping and praying that it works out the way I planned.

I always end up bringing more stuff back to school than I had brought home. Granted I brought home a suitcase full of clothes to begin the process of moving out of my apartment, but in terms of stuff that I did not intend on leaving back in Chicago, I have more clothes due to a nice little shopping trip to the outlets and with my mom. Just got some essentials - new shorts, v-necks, and a plaid shirt. Plus, I bought some dress shirts, ties and new dress shoes (the ones I have currently are from freshman year of high school) for end of year events, like pinning ceremony, formals, Baccalaureate, graduation, and hopefully an interview or two (trying to keep up the optimism here!). Everything is an investment, as I like to think.

I know April is going to fly by, and before I know it, graduation will be here and I'll be on my way to the Philippines for nice 2.5 week vacation. I'm just going to keep on trucking and since graduation is inevitable, my goal is to attain that 4.0 GPA before my college career is over. Nothing like a little challenge before graduating ay? (especially with spring and senioritis kicking in)

Spotlight: Anoop Desai

2010-03-27T13:36:00.004-05:00

Anoop Desai, a former contestant in last year's American Idol season, has released his first single post-Idol, and in my opinion, is one of the strongest debuts from a non-winner in recent years. It's a great example of what Anoop wanted to do on the show and wasn't able to showcase - an upbeat, R&B song that is radio ready and club friendly. The single perfectly showcases the R&B tones and soul Anoop showed on Idol, but also blends together a fusion of R&B, pop, and middle eastern influences seamlessly. Clever lyrics and great production of the single adds to the single's delight. I would have preferred a little bit of a stronger chorus, but it's catchy and will hopefully be able to cross-over into mainstream, as Elliott Yamin was able to do from season 5. Anoop could join the ranks of new and relevant R&B singers, such as fellow Indian Jay Sean, Justin Biebs, and Jason Derulo.

Halfway to the end...

2010-03-16T13:01:00.009-05:00

Spring break went by quick, but I feel like a savored every moment to the greatest extent possible. It was filled of great memories, some of my best friends, and a boat-load of sun. Overall, I loved every minute of it. I think at times I was a little too quick to judge and didn't realize that some situations were funny and not the biggest deal. Nothing is ever planned and in situations like those, I really need to look at the brighter side of them and not be so serious, especially since it's Spring Break. Might be an internal struggle within myself that I still don't understand, but life's a journey, no? I think that's my only "regret" - my attitude towards different situations. I wish I had also taken more shots of tequila.

But looking back on the entire trip and each memorable moment, this ranks in my top 3 spring breaks ever. I was with people that I love and hope to stay in touch with for the rest of my life, got to visit new countries and places, live on the cruise ship for a week (!), do activities I had only dreamed of doing, and really just enjoy life in general. I'm definitely having post-spring break depression. I don't think it's solely because I'm not in 80 degree weather on a beach in Mexico. That's partly it, but I think it just hit me that this level of friendship and closeness will be gone in 3 months. The lack of proximity even after the trip when I was sitting in my bed alone was kind of hard to handle. I didn't have a friend to talk to or just be around. After graduation, it'll be the same but at a much bigger level. I won't be able to hang out in the girl's apartment upstairs, or walk over to the Village and just say hi to anyone. I won't have a roommate to just watch TV with or watch them play video games. Change is inevitable, so I'm going to try to just cherish this time in my life as much as I can, especially since the future is still up in the air...

It's hard getting back into school mode, but I just have to do it. I have a TON of work to do still, and I still want to get that 4.0/Deans List recognition before I graduate. Hopefully Mother Inspiration will grant me some of her lovin'...

[Playa del Carmen... Que Bonita!]

[View from the side of our Cruise]

[RW:SB '10 crew]

[Sunset across the Gulf of Mexico]

[We will always be kings.]

life of a nomad.

2010-03-02T12:36:00.004-06:00

{View from the comfy chairs in the law school...}

Spring is finally on its way here. The temperature is starting to warm up, but very slowly. Spring break is right around the corner and senioritis is in full swing, but there's plenty of work to be done in the next 3 months. It's a weird feeling knowing that college is nearing it's end. Motivation is hard to find nowadays, but to spark it, I always imagine that dental schools will only accept me on the conditional acceptance I get a 4.0 this semester. Realistic stipulation so it definitely works. Someone asked me what I'm doing this summer, and I actually had no idea. Time to start weighing my options and plan for the future, near and far.

Throughout midterm week, I have used the excuse of studying to avoid different situations. What that situation exactly entails isn't relevant to this argument. I was just trying to somehow determine how much energy should be invested into avoiding any sort of situation of avoidance. It sometimes takes more energy just to make detours to prevent running into people than just addressing the situation head on. In some cases, it's sometimes just easier to expend that much energy to avoid awkward conversations, looks, or stares, especially when it's very clear what the feelings of each party in the situation are. However, not only is your energy being wasted, but also it starts to take a wear on friends unknowing or neutral in the whole ordeal.

To some, it's not even a big deal, but for a thinker and over analyzer like myself, its interesting just to put this all down in writing and sort things out. In the end, after graduation, this will never be a problem again. A lot of things will be different after graduation. The way I had panned things happening in life after graduation and relationships with friends is much different now than at the beginning of the year. It will be nice to see how things do turn out, but living in the now and enjoying these last few months is all I care about...

...and getting a chair like the one I am sitting in for myself. These are just too comfy to not have.

don't judge me.

2010-02-22T00:21:00.000-06:00

Justin Bieber is the man.

one day at a time.

2010-02-12T23:22:00.004-06:00

Let me just apologize and say sorry for 2 things: lack of updates and the last two posts. I created this blog not to complain about my life or for it to be some outlet for my own personal frustrations with different things. In some capacity, I feel I should be able to express what I'm feeling at a moment, but at the same time share something resourceful or helpful that I learned, not just some barf of my personal problems. Or even possibly something others can relate to at some point.

So as you can assume, this whole dental application process has been really disheartening, anxiety-provoking, and at times, downward depressing, especially within the last few weeks. And for me personally, it's been really tough because I feel like the only way to deal with this whole thing is by being alone. I have great family and friends, but no one really gets it completely. And just being the type of person I am, I don't want to bother other people with things I will, with time, come to terms with, as I am today for the most part. And I tend to repeat things I say and how I feel on different occasions, so I don't want to tire others with my roller coaster of moods. Everyone else has problems or things to do, and adding my load onto theirs doesn't seem fair to me. I do feel comfort in the few that have reached out to me, but in the end I just feel like I need to deal with things alone.

It does definitely sucks not having a someone - a complete confidant, or just really anyone outside my family that's close to me and cares enough that I can talk to about things and not feel bad since there is a general support from both sides of the relationship. It's even harder since such close relationships like that surround me everyday. My family is great, but it's really hard for my to converse on the phone, and even with them, I don't want them to see my weakness. So I stay in my room, let the emotions flow out, and eventually get a grip. Several cycles of this happen within one "alone" sitting, and its probably not the BEST way to deal with everything, but it's all I can do right now. I have learned not to think about what's happening, the severity of it all, how many schools have denied me and how many I have left, because when I do, everything comes pouring down and that's when I need to be alone again.

But even with all this anxiety, I've slowly become stronger. I've started to possibly pave a plan B for myself. One of my main concerns, if not the number one concern, through this whole thing is letting down my parents. After talking to my mom, she's assured me that if this isn't my year, it wasn't meant to be and that God has something else planned. Its comforting to hear her words, but it doesn't completely erase the guilt I still feel in my heart.

There's no use in dwelling in the past. I keep reminding myself that I cannot control what these dental schools are looking for and that the process is completely random at times. I move on and, as I always do, get over things but don't really push them completely aside; just enough so I can squeeze past it. This will be my last public post on my discouragements and feelings on my dental school process. Hopefully, I will be able to share good news and experiences in the near future. I'm going to try to focus on other things, worthy things (hence the blog name), to post about and hopefully spark up interest in this tiny space in the huge world wide web, such as MARDI GRAS. My three best friends are here and it brings such great comfort having them around and actually rejuvenates me, if that makes any sense.

Everyone have a fun AND safe weekend. Lent is coming - a time for rebirth and reflection. Until them, Pardi Gras time. And thanks for reading, my small audience out there.

2010-02-05T00:30:00.001-06:00

FML.

Just once.

2010-02-02T15:17:00.004-06:00

Just once I would like some good news. Just to stabilize my anxiety and stop doubting myself and stop thinking about the idea of regret.

le sigh.

My Jam at the Moment

2010-01-20T16:33:00.005-06:00

I was a HUGE fan of Timbaland's second solo effort "Shock Value" which was released in 2006 (freshmen year). After it's release, Timbaland became the "go-to" producer at the time, making songs for everyone and anyone. I loved basically every song he produced/wrote/released.

I had great expectations for Timbaland's follow-up "Shock Value II" when it was announced way back in the summer of 2008. It wasn't released until December 2009 after several release date push backs. After sampling and listening to the tracks on iTunes and YouTube, I was suprisingly underwhelmed. "Shock Value II" didn't live up to its expectations; it seemed contrived and presented nothing new. It hasn't sold well either, which I blame on poor marketing and single choice (and poor choices on who to collaborate with on the album. Nickelback? Miley Cyrus? Really Timbaland?)

However, a re-release of the album is planned for 2010, which will contain previously songs that were not initially included. More importantly, after 3 poorly charting released single, the 4th single I believe can save this album. "If We Ever Meet Again" ft. Katy Perry is a gem on the album. It's nothing groundbreaking, but the beat is good, the lyrics are easy to learn, and its radio friendly. Will this single be what "The Way I Are" was to Shock Value I? Probably not. But it will do for now. Check it out below!

my bags are packed

2010-01-09T12:16:00.004-06:00

And I'm ready to go... back to SLU. I think one of my major downfalls (one of the few) is that I have a HUGE over packer. I always pack too much and always bring back too much. I need to make sure I don't do that for Spring Break, but I never want to be without something. I always want to be prepared, and if that means bringing an extra 3 shirts that I may wear, but may not, so be it. At least I will have a peace of mind that I won't be without them.

Another thing I need to stop doing is spending my money. I bought too much from Best Buy over break using my employee discount. I didn't use it as much as I had intended on doing/have done in the past, but I did use it a bit too much, but I got stuff that I really wanted - a couple CDs, some DVDs, ink, and a pair of AWESOME Sennheiser headphones, which I got an incredible deal on and I've been wanting good quality headphones for quite some time.

I don't really have too many expectations this semester for my classes except do really well. They're mostly intro classes, and I don't see them being AS hard as some of my CLS classes last semester, but I'm going into this final semester with the same mindset - study hard, get great grades. Plus, their subjects I've never really learned about (Econ, Anthro) so it'll be interesting. Hopefully, I'll be injecting more spurts of fun throughout the week to make them go by quicker (Humps, the Lib Annex, etc).

The random weekend events will make this semester fly by so quickly- 1st weekend of the semester, birthdays, MARDI GRAS (with my best friends coming in from Chicago!!!), Spring Break, St. Patrick's Day, etc.

The anxiety about the future is still there, both good and bad. The bad isn't so enjoyable, but the good is what makes this time in my life exciting and worthwhile. Giddy up.

So Long, Holiday Season

2010-01-06T17:39:00.005-06:00

Today was my first day off last Friday if I do recall, and it was nice not to have to wake up and dread going to work. I know it's what the real world is going to be soon enough, but hopefully it will be a career as opposed to just a job.

I went to the dentist to get my teeth cleaned and they feel so fresh and so clean (clean). Then I got a haircut and took some Thank you card photos in front of the Christmas tree with my sister for family members. Hit up the library to get a bunch of new CDs which I am psyched about (and from what I've listened to, Monsters of Folk/The Smiths/Morrissey albums are epic, Animal Collective is suprisingly disappointing).

Then I took down the Christmas decorations. It might seem early, but since my sister and mom work, and my parents are older, I was given the task of taking down the tree and house decors. It wasn't a big task, but it's always a nice ending of a chapter to a year, putting things away. Plus I was able to listen to my new CDs as I wrapped up the ornaments and such. Our tree was incredibly smaller this year than years past since we lost our last one when our basement flooded. My dad picked out the weirdest ornaments, but ultimately gave our tree character. I did two Christmas craft projects over break to pass the time that I found on Sweet Paul - a Christmas card tree and a white wooden dowel tree. Both turned out pretty decently if I do say so myself.

[X-Mas Tree from below]

[Disco Queen Ornament, affectionately nicknamed Lady Gaga]

[Pickle Ornament!]

['Shroom Ornament]

[My Christmas Card Tree]

[White Dowel Xmas Tree]

I have been waiting for this day since August

2010-01-05T22:12:00.004-06:00

Ke$ha's debut CD "Animal" was released today. I've been a Ke$ha fan since I discovered her on PMA's blog, hearing Tik Tok from the first beat. She had me had "P. Diddy." The entire CD is a beautifully crafted pop confection creation of songs. Its no secret Ke$ha's voice isn't powerful or spectacular, but I think what she brings to the table is an incredible sense of originality and sense of who she is.

Granted, she's probably out of control and is really weird from what I have learned/observed. Her YouTube videos show that's she not completely press trained, but that's what makes her stand out from other artists. Her (criminal) history doesn't make her seem like a perfect angel either - she broke into Prince's house, seeing if he woudl produce her CD, and has thrown up in Paris Hilton's closet after singing backgrounds on one of her tracks. Out of control and I like it. She dresses really weird, but once again its unique.

Plus she's got the talent. She wrote or co-wrote all her tracks on her album, and all her songs were produced by the amazing and very sought after Dr. Luke, who has worked with Kelly Clarkson, Pink, Britney Spears, Flo Rida, and Daughtry. Granted there are songs that are album fillers and one that spells our Dinosaur, but there are catchy, radio ready hits. Besides "Tik Tok," there are other standout tracks, like "Animal," "Hush Hush Hush" feat 3OH!3, "Blind," & "Dancing With Tears in my Eyes." It's a strong debut album from a new artist on the scene. It establishes her sound and Ke$ha as an artist - and there's definitely a niche for her in our repertoire of pop music world. 2010 should be good to her.

Sherlock Holmes

2010-01-04T22:58:00.004-06:00

I have not been able to watch as many movies as I wanted to over break, but I did see Sherlock Holmes starring Robert Downey Jr., Jude Law and Rachel McAdams. Overall, I really enjoyed the movie. I liked how they showed Holmes' attention to detail and how he observed things. Some people might think it was all too convenient on how he saw noticed every single detail, but that's how the books were, and it did translate smoothly over to film.

Rachel McAdams looked great on screen - it was good seeing her in such a role. Jude Law made a good Watson. Watson and Sherlock's relationship is hilarious in the movie - the new definition of bromance I say. It gave the movie a great comedic aspect, and I really did enjoy this movie. I can't wait for Sherlock Holmes 2.

I still want to see Avatar, Up in the Air, Precious, Invictus, and The Messenger before award season starts. Hopefully I can fit them in time!

out with the old, in with the new.

2010-01-01T22:35:00.005-06:00

2009 was a great year filled with tons of memories - plenty of 21st birthdays (including my own), skiing in CO, going to Boston, studying for and taking the DAT, applying to (and still waiting to hear from) dental schools, and "the beginning of the end" at SLU. I have maintained, made, improved and closed off friendships and relationships, keeping the ones I care about and moving away ones that I don't.

I feel with each year I learn more about myself, the world, and what I want out of life. I look at what I have and what I need to do to get what I want. Some things just fall into place with time, and I think one of the biggest thing I've learned is patience. I've also learned to appreciate solitude and just flying solo. I still have an "overdependence" to be with people all the time, but I've learned to accept that being alone is not bad and I can fully depend on myself without the fear of being let down.

I do not know what to expect from 2010. I've figured out over break that I have an IMMENSE amount of anxiety about the near future, sometimes resulting in panic attacks or waking up in the middle of the night at weird hours. It's solely just not from grad school stress, though it contributes probably the greatest to it. It's life after college in general - moving back home, the future of relationships, and change in general. But, I'm still maintaining my optimistic outlook, hoping for the best and always looking forward to achieving the best case scenario.

2010 is the start of a new decade and a pivitol one, but I'll take it one step (and drink) at a time with my my family and friends at my side. SALUD!

My Favorite Albums of 2009

2009-12-29T11:42:00.013-06:00

So I cannot say this is a comprehensive list of CDs released this year. This list is purely based on CDs I purchased/borrowed from the library, so it's completely subjective. I have yet to get my hands on some of the great albums released this year (see below), but from the ones I did get my hands on, these 5 CDs rank at the top.
In no particular order, here are my 5 favorite CDs released in 2009:

Phoenix - Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix

Phoenix has been on the music scene already, releasing 2 previous CDs, but this was really their debut year, getting critcal acclaim on this album. It's clear why - this CD just plain rocks. It's just a great mix of alternative rock with electro sounds and memorable lyrics. Great Great Great.

Kelly Clarkson - All I Ever Wanted

If you know me, I think Kelly Clarkson is the real deal and I could have a discussion about how she is one of the greatest singers of our generation. Forget all that American Idol, manufactured pop image bullshit - her voice kills every song she sings. AIEW is her pop comeback on this album after her 3rd CD sold poorly. This album contains radio ready singles, along with the slower songs that I enjoy more. In all honesty, albums never do her voice justice since its when she sings live is when she kills it, but the CD gives her awesome material to do so.

Wilco - Wilco (The Album)

Wilco never disappoints, and Wilco (The Album) is just another great production of the band. An easy listening, upbeat album with simple production quality, which gives it the laid back, rock feeling. I don't have to say much about it - it just speaks for itself really.

John Mayer - Battle Studies

Let's face it - John Mayer is a dooche is many aspects, but one thing he does do is make great albums. Battle Studies is no different - honest, lyrical songs against effortless guitar skills. This album has more production in the songs than previous albums, but it does not overpower the songs or Mayer's voice. Focus on Mayer's music and not his persona and you're all set.

Florence + the Machine - Lungs

I just bought this CD the other day, but I am obsessed over it. Another thing that I look for in artists are original voices and Florence has a voice that encompasses Adele, Bjork, plus something new. It's soulful with a great alternative rock edge to it. I still need time to completely delve in the album, but at first (or three times) listen, her voice on the awesome production of the songs bodes very well with me. Lungs is an awesome debut album from another soulful (but with a twist) brit.

Honorable mentions(/* = CDs I have yet to get my hands on but will):
Sam and Ruby - The Here and the Now
The Decemberists - The Hazards of Love
Lady Gaga - The Fame Monster
*Alicia Keys - The Element of Freedom
*Jay-z - The Blueprint 3,
*Morrissey - Years of Refusal
*Animal Collective - Merriweather Post Pavilion
*Grizzly Bear - Veckatimest

Hopefully these will be at the library during my trip today. It's a beautiful, sunny (but cold of course) day in Chicago. I don't want to waste it.

DONE WITH DENTAL APPS FOR THIS YEAR.

2009-12-26T13:21:00.004-06:00

Okay, so I said I was done with them probably 2 months ago, but I've had this supplementary application for MWU hanging over my head that I just couldn't make myself finish until today. I guess after being denied to four schools made me just finish this one. At this point, I just want to be interviewed SOMEWHERE. Let me prove myself. Then reject me if you want. At least meet with me first. Isn't that what we all just in life in general?

Now it truly is a waiting game. Hopefully the dental schools that have not denied me will wait for my 1st semester grades. My GPAs (overall/science/BCP) will go up, improving me on paper at first glance.

Have a good rest of the weekend! I'll be at work today, dealing with all the returns, exchanges, and usage of gift cards. Hopefully this snow keeps the shoppers away. Someday this week I'll do my (after) Christmas shopping.

(500) Days of Summer

2009-12-24T02:08:00.004-06:00

I finally watched this movie and I can't even put every thought/commentary/opinion/idea into complete sentences yet I loved it so much. Great, great, great film. I could watch this movie on repeat. The themes, ideas, characters, scenes, etc was everything I expected and more. I DEFINITELY recommend watching it. Just awesomeness in 95 minutes. I could have a serious sober or drunk conversation on this movie right now.

Basically I am Tom (at least in my eyes)

Now watch the movie, find me, lets have a couple beers and shots, and lets discuss it. Honestly.

Patience.

2009-12-23T12:10:00.003-06:00

Working in retail has made me an incredibly patient person... to a point. I used to work mainly in digital cameras at the BBY, but I have placed myself in avoiding the department because I do not like selling cameras during holiday season. Why? Because people think I'm pushing on them unnecessary accessories and just "trying to make a sale." Well news flash - I do not work on commission, nor do I care if you buy a camera or not. I honestly offer only the essentials to customers and things I would buy for it. I've learned, though, that I can't make anyone buy anything. I actually smile sometimes at the fact that these cheap customers will not buy an inexpensive memory card for their camera (since it doesn't come with one usually), so when whoever this gift is for opens it up on Christmas, they can't even use it. Perfect opportunity to say "I told you so." (except with more profanity knowing myself)

The camera department sometimes is a nice break from the monotomy of the media department, which I work now. I really don't mind looking up CDs/DVDs/Blu-Rays/video games for customers, except when they haven't looked first. The media department is simple - it's categorized by genre (or videogame platform) and alphabetized. If it's not there, that's when you come to me to look it up. It's not hard.

The best customer is the angry customer who does their shopping 3 days before Christmas. Do they really expect us to have a surplus of the most popular video game this season? But as the years have gone by, things just roll of my back and I just mosey around the store, hoping to find a candy cane to keep my sugar level up. There is of course the nice customers that you can have a nice 4 minute conversation with about the holiday season while looking up inventory on the slow computers, or the grateful ones that give an overabundance of thanks after finding the last copy of a CD in the store. Those little glints of positivity usually keep up my good mood, and my bank account in the green.

X-Mas Wish List

2009-12-22T12:27:00.012-06:00

My Christmas list used to be things that I wanted, but now as a more practical adult, its about things I need/would use everyday. There still are things that I dream of having that I do not need, but with money so tight nowadays and everyone on a limited budget, I'd rather get a gift I'd use everyday.

With me, its pretty standard - fitted solid/striped pocket v-neck tees, lightweight shirts and sweaters, khakis/jeans/cords, and baseball caps. Added on to this list this year are just more athletic basics - soccer shorts (shorter than basketball shorts, longer than running shorts), running socks, UnderArmour, etc.

Besides the materialistic aspect, I appreciate gifts with more thought put into it. Getting clothes is great, but knowing/finding out which one I've had my eye on makes the gift even more appreciated. Gifts with sentimental value i.e. picture frames or CDs are even better sometimes, or gifts I can share with others or lets me spend time with my friends go over the best, because as George Clooney says in "Up in the Air," - "Life is better with company."

[Fred Perry, Gap, J.Crew, Sperry - $20 to $100]

[Reebok, Adidas, UnderArmour - $15 - $25]

[Prince O3 Hybrid Hornet Midplus - $99]

[Canon Rebel XSi Digital SLR - $650]

[DJ Hero: Renegade Edition for Wii - $199]
**There are some haters out there on this game, but I've played it at work at Best Buy, and I find it awesome**

[Bose Noise Canceling Headphones - $299]

So close, yet so far...

2009-12-18T13:46:00.004-06:00

Fall semester grades are in finally, and I did better than expected! In hematology, the bane of my existence this semester, I was absolutely sure I had messed up that class with my 3rd and 4th test, and the final, and SOMEHOW I pulled an A-!!!!!! The only sad part is that I missed Dean's list by 0.02.

0.02 points!!!

My B+ in accounting prevented me from getting onto that God-forsaken list. I have never been that close to something GPA wise and its kind of a bummer, but in the long run, it's just another "title" that I don't need it to validate my hard work this semester. I KNOW how hard I worked, and it feels great to see the fruits of my labor. Maybe I can get on the Dean's list semester with my "freshmen" schedule - it's full of intro classes, but interesting topics that should expand my horizons.

I have done absolutely nothing at home the past few days, and I am getting cabin fever, so I'm venturing out today to run some errands - deposit checks into my overdrafted bank account, find a tree skirt (we actually put up a Christmas tree this year), arts and craft supplies for gifts for family members, and get my month gym membership at the local rec.

Speaking of gifts, I made the special girls in my life at SLU some picture wreaths for their Christmas gifts. Like I had said before, they greatly appreciated them which made me even more happy I made them for them. I originally got the idea from Katie's blog, who had posted ideas from Sweet Paul, I decided to give this idea a go, and it turned out better than expected.

My wreaths turned out much bigger than expected, but I wanted to included a multitude of pictures to include everyone in our friend group and different aspects/trips of each person's life. Following Sweet paul's instructions, I used a wire wreath and hot glued the pictures together. I used only black & white and sepia photographs to give it a timeless feel. I laid all the pictures down and tried different methods to hot gluing them together. I found the best method was to just lay it out, and carefully hot glue the pictures as they laid on the floor. Adjustments were made as I went along, but it all turned out well in the end. A tip that I picked up was to take a picture of the wreath after the initial layout for reference later if the photographs got moved around. I added quotes on bows/leaves/holly to the wreath for a personal touch. I made three personalized gifts for under $20 bucks.

[Quote on bow: "It is by chance that we met, by choice that we became friends."]

[Quotes on leaves: "I get by with a little help from my friends."]

[Quotes on the holly: "There is nothing worth the wear of winning, but laughter and the love of friends."]

Home for the Holidays

2009-12-16T17:40:00.005-06:00

This semester went by so quickly in retrospect! Sorry for the lack of updates - finals exams, regular tests, papers and projects consumed my time. I never realized how truly stressed out I was until I came home and had a minor breakdown as soon as I got picked up from the airport. This weird flow of a multitude of emotions overcame me and I didn't know how to react appropriately. It was partly just relief from the stress I've had all semester, but also somewhat the realization that some things just might not happen and my hardwork this semester might not have "paid off" in the end. I mean my grades will be fine, but I didn't get the 4.0 I wanted, and I'm probably not getting ropes at graduation (due to a stupid new 3.5 GPA rule change for Cum Laude), and I'm still stressing about Dental School. As optimistic as I can be, sometimes things just cave in all at once and there's nothing I can do about it. It takes some time to come to terms with things like that.

But after some much needed sleep (I woke up at 1PM today!) and a day of doing absolutely nothing (but playing some online games and watching/catching up on TV shows on Hulu) I feel pretty well rested. Tomorrow I need to make my list of things to do and complete that list, go to the gym and see if I'll be making money over break or not.

Christmas has came early and I got some great presents. As time goes on and as I've grown older, I've come to appreciate gifts that required more thought and work into it. I got a free dinner coupon from 3 of my good friends, some awesome PS1 games that will be much appreciated next semester, awesome cookies/sweets, and a beautiful wood frame with burned etching in it. I'll be posting my finished Christmas projects that I made for my friends - picture wreaths. They turned out better that I had hoped, but more importantly, my friends loved them. It's the season of giving, and when things are appreciated more than originally expected really makes me glad that I made these people presents.

I still have some shopping to do for my family and other close friends, but I've got plenty of time, and usually, me and my sister team up on them. Other than that, hopefully the next few weeks will be a good break from stress of schoolwork, SLU and time to catch up with old friends.

To Dress like a Kid

2009-12-03T08:26:00.004-06:00

I try to look at the positives when others might look at it as a negative in most situations. I'm a fairly small stature young guy. However, by being a smaller guy, I get to buy clothes in the kid section. No, I'm not cheap... the boys section of stores sometimes has cooler shirts that I'd like to wear. Exhibit A are these Marvel Comic T-shirts at Old Navy. They were on clearance during Black Friday, and I can fit into a Kids XL. SCORE.

I also got a sweet Wolverine one, but they don't have a picture online. $3.99 Marvel Comic Superhero tees - It's a no-contemplation situation.

If I didn't feel it before...

2009-12-01T13:28:00.003-06:00

... I do now. I hate comparing myself to other people, but I'm a naturally competitive person. Just ask any of my friends. Congrats to him, but when is it going to be my turn to celebrate? I haven't even got a fricken interview yet. I feel like I'm just in limbo. I usually don't regret, but the should haves, could haves and would haves are starting up in my head now. I know I have nine more to hear from and I'm trying to keep up the positive attitude, but doubt is starting to set in my mind and heart. I should be starting to look for plan B in life after graduation... I just want to be ready. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst ay?

Giving Thanks

2009-11-27T00:19:00.003-06:00

It's weird how things can just impact you and your thoughts after reflecting and realizing a certain situation. Let me explain...

Last night was Black Wednesday, which led to reunions with people from high school and what not, which was fun. During one conversation, I learned a fellow student at SLU that I had met at my friend's HS prom (she went to an all girls schools, hence the guy dates coming from different high schools) had just recently experienced a death in his family - his sister nevertheless. Then on Facebook today, I stumbled upon a memorial group for her. I was just reading through the group and looking at posts and pictures people had shared (with Ave Maria oddly playing in the background from my iTunes), and a variety of thoughts ran through me head.

From little what I know of the family, I know they're a large family and were extremely close. I couldn't imagine having a death in my family, let alone right around the holidays. My heart and prayers goes out to them.

Ironically, thinking about the situation made me feel even more thankful and appreciative for everything I have in my life and not take everything for granted. At any moment, something tragic can happen (God forbid) and in a split second, your life can change. Spending the entire day today with just my parents and sister brought back old memories of when me and my sister were younger, with all of us in the house and preparing dinner together. I couldn't imagine my life without any of them.

It just emphasized my current view and belief of living in the moment, telling and sharing others how you feel about them "in the now." I keep saying change is inevitable, but I also realized last night taht keeping in contact is as hard or as easy as you make it. Constants require effort, and that amount of effort is directly proportional to its importance in your life. Sadly enough, sometimes that level of importance does not match up, but at least effort won't be wasted once that's established.

So today, like a great majority of Americans today, I give thanks for every single blessing in my life - my mom, my dad, and my sister. My extended relatives. My best friends from home. My SLU family/crew. My health. Everything in my life that I do not need, but am so lucky to have.

So to everyone and everything that I love, cherish and adore, big or small - thank you.

Final Impact

2009-11-25T14:07:00.004-06:00

I'm back at home for Thanksgiving break ... and I'm doing homework. Surprise, surprise.

Anyways, I always believe the conclusion or ending of anything is the most important - it's what people remember the most out of anything. I wrote an e-mail to my University 101 class to wrap up the semester, and I think it speaks for itself. I'm thankful for having the chance of teaching U101. I hope everyone goes out tonight and enjoys Black Wednesday, but most importantly please be safe.

"Hi everyone!

I hope everyone made it home safe for Thanksgiving break! The next few days off will be great to spend time with friends and family before the craziness and stress of finals comes around. I just wanted to say a few things about this past semester to "wrap up the course." I hope that University 101 was a course that showed you more of the university, provided you with a stable foundation on the resources we have on campus, but most importantly, gave you skills and tools that you need to succeed in college, may it be study skills, time management, or make proper decisions. This semester flew by, and I feel like it was yesterday where we were in class, filling out notecards and sharing information about ourselves with one another. With my heavy course load, applying to graduate schools, and attending meetings and social events, U101 provided me a time where I could share my experiences, both the highs and lows, with the new generation of Billikens (as cheezy as that sounds). The reason I became a U101 instructor in the first place was to do share my knowledge I had gained. I hope I was able to provide you with enough insight to achieve the highs and avoid the lows.

From your final reflections, I saw a great amount of growth and maturity in each of you. The majority of you indicated a smooth transition to college life and how you were learning to love SLU. As I had indicated before, my love for SLU did not flourish completely until mid-Sophomore year. My transition was not the smoothest, but now, in my senior year, I can proudly say I love, breathe and bleed SLU. If you are having a rough transition, I just ask that you stay for one semester and give it another go. Become more involved. Meet more new people and be pro-active about it. Find an organization that fits you. Even though the semester is over, I am still here as a resource for you. E-mail or Facebook me. The relationship and foundation that was laid during the course does not end. I want each of you to succeed and experience exactly what SLU has for you. You made the choice (hopefully) to attend SLU. As my parents told me on the phone way back freshman year, "You chose to go there. You knew you that was your school when you visited. ...Forget everyone and everything else... in the end it's you." Those words resonated in my head at the time, and they still do today. Interpret that how you want and go from there.

I have one semester left at SLU and its bittersweet. SLU's campus is going to flourish in the next few years, and you guys are lucky enough to be around when it happens. I'm about ready to move on to the next chapter of my life (hopefully it will be dental school), but I still have one semester to go and nothing in life is ever set in stone. What I will take with me, and hopefully you will too in 4 years, are the lessons learned, experiences gained, and the everlasting friendships I have made. I am thankful for everything I have learned and look forward with great hope to what life and God has in store for me.

Good luck on the rest of your semester! Study hard for your finals! Don't be a stranger - feel free to say hi to me on campus, even stopping and catching up with me on your life. I'm always at the Rec Center, either working, working out, or just hanging around. A wave or a head nod will do, especially if you're in the "workout zone." No longer am I your peer instructor, but just your peer, and hopefully someone you can call a friend. Continue to embody the Billiken and the Jesuit mission by being men and women for others.

Best of Luck to each of you, and I'll see you around!

- Vance

The Inner Child never leaves

2009-11-19T10:00:00.003-06:00

Kickball never gets old. It's a very basic game with not too many rules that doesn't require TOO much athleticism, and a majority of people know it already from grade school. New York News Daily even wrote an article recently about the craze. This past weekend, I participated in a kickball tournament for WashU's OT program, who were raising money for their spring break mission trip. I played with SOTA, SLU's OT program since the rules stated a minimum of 2 guys and 4 girls.

As adults, it's always fun to let the inner child out and just let loose and play. And things always get more hilarious once beer is involved. And it's pretty awesome how committed and involved these events get. We made spray painted shirts/jerseys with our team name (Kickball.) and nicknames on the back. The entire day was great. Woke up around 8:30AM, began the festivities, and enjoyed ourselves til about 4PM. My great contribution to the team was of course an awesome CD, with great pump up music, including some classic jock jams, including "Get Ready For This" and "Pump up the Jam."

Moments like this kickball tournament keep completing my college experience.

[Team kickball.]

[Img Courtesy of NYnewsdaily.com]

Dreary Week

2009-11-17T14:48:00.005-06:00

[photograph courtesy of tpc0470]

And STL has once again morphed into Seattle, complete with rain and fog. Sorry for the lack of updates. Life has been preoccupied with school work. The end of any semester is always the most stressful, but I'm not letting my 4.0 slip away from me. No way, Jose.

Anyways, I'm studying all week for fun-time this weekend. Every time I have a test in my Hematology and Body Fluids Course on a Monday, I always have events planned for the weekend. My luck sufficed for the first 2 tests, but wore out on the 3rd. I'm not taking any chances this time, so I'm studying my hardest during the week to allow me to participate in this weekend's activities.

I'm especially excited for Friends-giving on Saturday. Just a nice get together with tons of food and plenty of beer, wine and spirits! Thanksgiving is another one of those holidays that reminds me how lucky I am to have found the people I have in my life and just celebrate that friendship, especially in our senior year of college. Life and relationships won't be the same next year, I can almost guarantee it, so I say celebrate now and remember later.

I'm in charge of the turkey, which is a little intimidating, but I never shy away from a culinary challenge. I take it kind of like a chem lab, weirdly enough. Shay thankfully is helping me out to make sure this turkey lives up to last year's expectations. We're going to brine the turkey, and I've done some heavy research on this topic. I've never heard of a brined turkey until this year, but it makes complete sense from the scientific standpoint. The salt solution denatures proteins in the turkey, making the meat more tender. Also, following the rules of solute concentration, the seasoned salt water infiltrates the meat due to a lower solute concentration in the turkey meat, aka making it soak in the seasonings and taste delicious.

So for the brine, I'm thinking kosher salt (of course), brown sugar, honey, rosemary, thyme, sage and bay leaf. Then when baking the turkey, lemon, orange, and more fresh herbs stuffed inside for aromatics. We'll see how this works... I don't like to disappoint. A blog post on the process is sure to follow.

In the mean time, check out this odd pairing of Lady GaGa and Beyonce on her new track "Telephone" off her upcoming album "The Fame Monster."

The Bleeding Deacon

2009-11-11T14:44:00.009-06:00

This past Saturday, me and my friends went to the Bleeding Deacon, a bar/restaurant located on 4123 Chippewa Ave. It's really a hole in the wall joint that, from the outside, screams townie bar. The interior is dark and covered with the usual neon beer signs and old posters of great rock bands. The beer selection is pretty awesome for a small, local bar (including an imported $10 beer that the waiter was nice enough to give some background on; I was content with my $2 draft PBR). The thing that sets this bar from any other one, however, was the food.

[The Bleeding Deacon front entrance]

The food was what initially got me into Bleeding Deacon via Groupon. I paid $10 for a coupon for $25 worth of food, and it was worth every penny. I got the bacon wrapped pork tenderloins, with delicious mashed sweet potatoes. I wanted fries, but the waiter thankfully convinced me to get the sweet potatoes. They were awesome - great texture, just the right amont of sweet and spice, and a great pairing with my pork. The girls got Veggie burgers, voted the best in STL by RFT, while the guys got the chicken wings. No one was disappointed. The in-house malt vinegar was also one of the highlights of the night, along with the jukebox, voted best by RFT as well. A great eclectic mix of CDs, songs of Johnny Cash and Beatles were interspersed between my selections of Poison, Interpol, and Ike and Tina Turner (3 for $1).

Using my Groupon, I bought the table the sweet potato salsa. Weird, right? But it was amazing - you wouldn't even know it was made with sweet potatoes. It tasted just like pico de gallo, with the right mix of sweet potatoes, cilatro, corn, scallions and red pepper.

[The sweet potatoes salsa]

Overall the experience was great. The place was a little dark, but what bar isn't? Better signage outside would bring in more business I think, but the lack of advertising gives the bar it's special, sort of hipster feel. I definitely want to go back again and try the Meatloaf, the "Hot Salame" sandwich, and vegan pineapple upside down cake. The beer is good, the food is awesome and decently priced, and the music selection will please a wide range of patrons. Break out of the mold and try the Bleeding Deacon - you won't be disappointed.

[**All images via RFT**]

Rejection never gets easier.

2009-11-05T16:12:00.002-06:00

Atleast I have 11 more to hear from, right?

4 Years later.

2009-11-03T15:08:00.005-06:00

[View atop Jesuit Hall]

I've always heard about classes being able to go on top of Jesuit Hall for class, but I never thought it actually took place or would happen for me until today. The view of the campus on a beautiful and clear day from the rooftop was breathtaking; it was another "full circle" moment that I've had during my senior year. Four years ago, I didn't see myself being where I am today. I didn't end up transfering; I stuck it out. I stayed at SLU and now bleed blue (or a constant billboard for SLU with all my SLU apparel). I have made this mental never-ending list of things I want to accomplish/experience before I graduate in May, and being able to cross off each thing off this list, like this past afternoon's experience, just makes my last 4 years that just more memorable and sentimental.

Discussing the Jesuit Mission in my U101 class really put into perspective why I am happy I stayed here. The emphasis on an education that focuses on mind, body, heart and spirituality both outside and inside the classroom both passively and actively has molded well for me. It's not for everyone, but it bewilders me how people stay at a school and just constantly complain about it. Blaming the university is an easy scapegoat, but if you're that unhappy or unsupportive, why don't you just leave? Easy as that. Nothing is holding anyone back; no excuses.

College and life is what you make it, and I am a proud example.

[Look down from the top]

So this is what Seattle is like...

2009-10-29T14:10:00.006-05:00

[Image via Timsamoff Flickr]

... and I actually am indifferent to this weather. This may be due to the fact that I just bought an umbrella from the bookstore but I'm not entirely sure. I don't seem to have a problem with this rain, but nor do I want it to rain anymore. Kind of complicated, but what thoughts aren't in my brain?

Several songs just pop into my head when it's raining outside. I like picturing heartbreaking songs with the singer just belting it out in the rain, all wet, exploiting their emotions in public. (Weird for you, normal in my mind). It's basically just the quintessential situation for songs like that. Or I think of Paramore's "When It Rains" because I think it suitable for the situation. Or I listen to the 6 covers of Rihanna's "Umbrella" that I've downloaded onto my iPod (my personal fave is John West's version).

While studying in the BSC while in rained, I played some Zac Brown Band which perked up my day and attitude a bit. Country music always seems to bring back feelings of warm weather and summer, and hence sun. The entire album is just some good 'ol country music with straight forward stories about the simple things in life. "Chicken Fried" may become one of the songs I just play constantly for the rest of my life. The second verse is the best; no explanation is needed.

Hopefully this weather turns around before Halloween this weekend. Then I will be playing the Monster Mash over and over.

Pumpkin Bar Deliciousness

2009-10-27T14:31:00.004-05:00

This week for my freshman introductory course that I co-instruct, we learned more about the Exorcism and its ties with SLU (which is really nothing except a brief stay in the church rectory.) Anyways, I made some treats for my class to snack on during the presentation. I made some Double Chocolate Brownies and Pumpkin Bars. Both turned out great. The pumpkin bars seemed to be the star of the class though. Most students that do not even like pumpkin enjoyed them. And they are really simple to make.

I got the recipe from Williams-Sonoma a few years ago while walking through their store with my family. Its suppose to be used with their pecan pumpkin butter, which is delicious, but incredibly overpriced. Instead, I used some pumpkin butter I picked up from Eckerts.

Pumpkin Bar Squares
Ingredients:
1 - 18 oz. box of yellow cake mix
1/2 cup of melted butter
13 ounces of pumpkin butter
3 Eggs
1 Tablespoon flour
1/4 cup of sugar
1/4 cup of butter, softened
3 tablespoons of milk
1 teaspoon of cinnamon

Directions:
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees
2. Reserve 1 cup of yellow cake mix and set aside
3. Mix remaining cake mix with 1/2 cup of melted butter and 1 egg. Press mixture lightly and evenly into the bottom of a 13" x 9" baking dish
4. Mix the pumpkin butter with the remaining 2 eggs and milk and pour over cake mixture in pan
5. Mix the remaining 1 cup of cake mix with the flour, sugar and cinnamon with the softened butter and crumble over the top of the pumpkin layer in the pan
6. Bake 35-40 minutes or until golden
7. Cool to room temp and enjoy.

I also added some vanilla and nutmeg to the pumpkin mixture for a slight variation. Really easy recipe for really decadent bars.

[Close up of the 3 layers]

In other non-foodie news, I sent out the last of the checks for my applications for dental school. I still need to pay one more application fee and do their supplementary then I'm done completely. This application cycle never seems to end.

NEW JAY SEAN

2009-10-20T12:34:00.003-05:00

Here is Jay Sean's rumored 2nd single, "Do You Remember" featuring Sean Paul and 'Lil Wayne, via theHottestishh.net. The song is within the same vein as "Down" - upbeat, catchy R&B. I like Jay Sean's first single better, which hit #1 on Billboard's Hot 100, but I can definitely see this single getting tons of radio play and getting to the top of the charts. Definitely going on the iPod before heading back down to the Lou.

Fall Break Wrap-Up

2009-10-19T15:07:00.007-05:00

Fall break went really great this past weekend - just a nice period to be back at home with family and friends and outside the SLU bubble that gets to be overwhelming at times with classes, work and tests.

I had a nice afternoon with my mother on Sunday, finding me a new suit for (hopefully) my dental interviews. I don't know if this is good or bad to be buying a suit for interviews that haven't been extended to me yet, but I'm staying on the positive wavelength. I have learned that no matter what my age or weight is, it is near impossible to find a suit that perfectly fits me. I either need to bulk up and get huge shoulders to fit into a larger suit coat, or get my suits tailored to fit me to a T in the future. Thankfully I found one at Nordstrom's rack, which I have decided is the best place to get long lasting, staple designer clothes at extremely discounted prices. Where else can someone find an $800 Black Burberry Suit for over 60% off?

Besides that, Old Navy had some great deals on Fall/Winter Clothes and clearance jeans; I got two pairs of jeans for less than $15, no joke, along with some sweaters, long sleeves and thermals. Got some new Asic Tiger kicks to walk to class in. I always tend to come back to school with more stuff than I brought home.

With my free time today, I've been able to enjoy the beautiful weather outside by running errands. I was able to stop by the library to pick up some CDs to transfer to my iTunes. I got the new Wilco album, some Regina Spektor, Ray LaMontagne, Incubus, and Alison Krauss/Robert Plant among other artists. This should keep my music library going until around Thanksgiving break/Finals. I'm ready to road trip back to school and finish out the 2nd half of the semester strong.

However, I'm broke as a joke, but hopefully I'll be able to pick up some shifts these next two weeks since I have no tests and be able to pay off all my application fees off and not have to worry about being strapped for cash all the time. Time to be thirfty for a little bit.

Demons!

2009-10-18T10:39:00.005-05:00

I did not get a good nights sleep last night after watching Paranormal Activity. I have not seen a psychological thriller that has messed up my mind as much as that movie last night, which basically means it was a well made movie. In the same vein as the Blair Witch Project, the movie is in the POV of an at home camera trying to catch strange happenings on tape occurring in the house of this couple.

The movie had some funny sections too, but the suspense and thrill really built up over the course of the movie. The best part was that it felt real; these people were seriously being haunted by a demon. Just watch it. And be paranoid and not be able to sleep. It's the right time of year to do so.

official video.

2009-10-11T12:53:00.001-05:00

Ke$ha's official video. I like it. I like it a lot.

SUSHI!!

2009-10-09T00:56:00.003-05:00

It's almost fall break, and every time I go home I always try to go out with my sister and/or my friends and get some rolls of sushi and drinks.

I've only been to two places in STL to get Sushi - Drunken Fish and Wasabi. Druken Fish (locations on the Landing and CWE) is a little over priced and not the freshest, but the restaurant environment is trendy to the core. Wasabi has never steered me wrong. Their rolls are decently priced, and it's located right on Washington Avenue, which is always a great place to go to at night with the street string lights and other bars and gelato shops around. Wasabi has actually been voted the best place to get sushi in STL by the RFT and Sauce Magazine consistently the past few years.

Busting out of what I know, I really want to try two different places I've found. One of them is Miso Lounge, located in the heart of downtwon Clayton on Meramec Ave. From the website, the place looks pretty sweet. It used to be a bowling alley after WWII - a great location for a restaurant. It looks like they have great happy hour specials from 5 to 6:30 Tuesday through Friday ($4/5 rolls, appy/drinks specials), and with special 80s night on Wednesdays and Music Video Thursdays.

[Outside Miso Lounge]

[Inside Miso Lounge]

[Another shot inside Miso Lounge]

The other place I found is located right by SLU's campus - Sekisui on South Grand and Arsenal. It looks like a neighborhood friendly restaurant, and their sushi is priced well for a college student's budget. Nice little place to have some raw rish and a little conversation/catching up with friends.

[Sekisui on South Grand]

[Inside Sekisui...]

Hopefully I'll be able to give a full report/review on these on sushi places soon, maybe even after this weekend. There's nothing like celebrating no classes for a few days with a couple rolls of sushi and saki bombs!

otoño.

2009-10-06T15:20:00.006-05:00

"all things change; nothing perishes." - Ovid

"everything you now do is something you have chosen to do. some people don't want to believe that. but if you're over age twenty-one, your life is what you're making of it. to change your life, you need to change your priorities."
- John C. Maxwell

All Falls Down...

2009-10-01T12:46:00.006-05:00

See ya September, hello October. Today's weather is a quintessential start to autumn - rainy, cold, and a definite change in the whole feel of the day. Hopefully it gets a little warmer with no rain for the camping trip this weekend. When I actually realized today was the first day of October the first thing that came to my mind [no joke]: Oktoberfest in Soulard. Don't judge; it's just another one of my things on my list of things to accomplish before leaving SLU. I've always wanted to go, but you have to be 21 (and not according to your fake).

It's next week from October 9 - 11, down by Soulard Market on 8th and Lafayette. I did my research on Wiki of course, and it's roots for the original celebration was a commemoration of the marriage between Prince Ludwigand Princess Therese of Saxe-Hildburghausen of Bavaria. Later it was organized by Munich and turned into this huge festival. Now, there are several different Oktoberfests everywhere in the world. Its seems like a great way to usher in the new season and spend time with friends over a pint and brat!

[Oktoberfest in Germany]

At Soulard's Oktoberfest, it's $5 to enter the festival, and there's 4 different tents sponsored by different beer vendors with different bands playing music, some even coming all the way over from Germany, with tables and seats for an all around good time. There's a good menu of food, including brats, chicken, turkey legs, and potato pancakes. I really want to try a schweinshax, which is basically a roasted ham hock, and of course the strudels.

[A Schweinshax]

The beer served is by the companies supporting the different tents, so Budweiser, Hofbräu, Spaten and Becks, and of course Jäger will be present. I've never had Hofbräu or Spaten, so I'm looking forward to trying the different brews. You can get a liter mug for $13, and refills for $9, or just 16 oz. cups for $6 and domestics for $5. I'm definitely doing the mug. And the best part is that each person can get a different one and try the different kinds.

[Yes please.... and I'm talking about a pint.]

I have 2 tests next week, and I'll be ready for some wind-down time with friends. Are you going to Oktoberfest?

And the others 6 are sent out!

2009-09-29T01:57:00.006-05:00

So I'm washing my hands of dental school applications! I have sent out the final 6, and now I just need to send out my completed supplementary apps and application fee checks once I hear back from the schools. This momentous occasion is spoiled by my headache right now, not to mention a bad case of the sniffles. Time to bundle up more tomorrow and down that vitamin C. Autumn has apparently made her grand entrance, smacking me in the face.

Oh! and here is how my 4x6 photo came out with my 2x2 photographs, which were cut and sent out with my applications:
Sure do look spiffy! but I could use a haircut fo sho. Let's just keep our fingers crossed for some interviews!

Time to buckle down for the rest of the week and get LOTS of studying done b4 this weekend.

Use Somebody [RAC Remix Style]

2009-09-27T19:07:00.003-05:00

I love remixes of songs, especially ones that make the original song more edgy or danceable, basically give the song a completely new life. PMA blog is my go to blog to find the coolest in new artists on the scene, as well as reviews of independent artists, and awesome remixes of songs.

RAC mixes are some of my favorite remixes produced. RAC stands for Remix Artists Collective. 3 different producers/DJs remix the songs, each w/their particular RAC "tag." Andre Allen Anjos is my favorite of the 3 and is actually the coordinator of RAC. His remixes are out of this world. Some people of course might not like it, but I have yet to find one of his remixes I do not like.

Here's his remix of Kings of Leon's "Use Somebody," which is one of my favorite songs of the year so far and has been played nonstop on my iTunes the past weekend.

I Love Alternatives

2009-09-21T01:18:00.004-05:00

I need to get 2x2 photos taken for some of my dental school applications, so basically I needed to get some passport photos done. Doing my research so I know ahead of time how much they're going to cost me, I found that Walgreens charges a ridiculous $7.99 for two small ass photos. I remember getting my passport photos back in high school for my SpItaly trip senior year, and thinking what a cruddy job Walgreens does. They basically just take a picture with a terrible digital camera, print out the picture, and charge you way too much for it.

However, I found this awesome website called epassportphoto.com that basically allows to to upload your own picture that follows the rules of passport photos, crop it for a head shot, and prints out 6 of your passport photos on a 4x6 picture, sending it to Walgreens, and paying $0.19 for it. Labor of cutting is done by yourself, but it's just a great and innovative idea.

[Sums up the ingenious-ness of Epassportphoto.com]

Now, I don't have to spend over $15 on pictures, keeping the costs down for these applications. I am determined to be done with all of them BEFORE October 1st.

Just want to say...

2009-09-18T00:25:00.003-05:00

... Adele's voice is sick (aka amazing). Listen. Now.

"I don't mean to interrupt but..."

2009-09-16T15:32:00.004-05:00

[Exhibit A of a man that was not hugged enough as a child]

Then don't. It absolutely annoys me when people start a conversation with that line. First of all, you probably should not have been listening to my conversation. Don't get me wrong - I'm one to ease drop myself, especially if the conversation is loud enough, but interrupting and giving my two cents?

Nope.

This whole concept started this past Monday at work. I was just having a pleasant conversation with my co-worker about the whole Kanye-Taylor Swift situation at the VMAs this past Sunday. (And that is also the extent of what I'm going to talk about that whole situation because no more light should be shined on that jackass). Anyways, this person who will remain nameless decides to add his two cents in... and then some. He basically started an argument with both me and my co-worker, when it was completely uninvited and unnecessary. Might I also add that his arguments were COMPLETELY irrelevant and weak. Unless specifically asked for your opinion, please don't share it with random people. Clearly you don't have people that care enough to listen to your opinions, so please, spare you breath and save it for another day. And if you're want to discuss something, at least have valid points and don't be rude and idiotic. It's just annoying.

Cafe Ventana

2009-09-14T10:05:00.005-05:00

[Photo via Yelp.Com]

So after being sick since Wednesday and finally recuperating to a healthy state on Saturday, I had a gigantic load of homework and studying to do for this week. Thank god I went to Cafe Ventana Sunday afternoon for a great afternoon of studying in a picturesque location. It's not that new; it's actually been open for a year or so. I just discovered its true greatness this time around. I feel its a great location because it's right off SLU's campus, but not more than a 5 minute walk. Free Wi-Fi is available, along with different places to study. Plus, if you get hungry, they have a decently priced menu list for food, or even just a quick caffeine pick me up.

[Outdoor alley patio, perfect for studying on a great STL afternoon. Photo via STL Today.com]

This is going to be a long week, but my family is (hopefully) coming in this weekend, so that will be a nice treat.

infected.

2009-09-09T22:33:00.002-05:00

currently in isolation in my room in my apartment in school. I now have all the time in the world to study AND get better before Saturday. Jimmy Johns is still end goal for the week. Stay healthy and uninfected everyone.

Just in one of those moods.

2009-09-03T13:35:00.000-05:00

And now I wait...

2009-09-01T23:14:00.003-05:00

And half of the culmination of my summer and basically the last 3 years of undergraduate came yesterday when i submitted half of my dental applications to the respective schools. I only did 6 yesterday, and eventually the other 6 in two weeks, since it costs an arm and a leg to just apply to dental school. Let me break it down for you quickly: AADSAS, the application portal system kind of like the common app for undergraduate which puts together your application, confirms your grades and transcripts, compiles recommendation letters together, and then sends them to the designated schools, charges you for their service. Then, you have to pay each respective school and application fee. On top of that, my DAT scores have to be officially sent by the ADA to each school. All together, it cost well over $1500. Now, in my mind, I go through all the things that I could have bought with this money, but I remember that this is an investment for my future.

So the final lists consists of, in no particular order: UIC, SIUE, Marquette, Creighton, Temple, Boston University, Tufts University, Nova Southeastern, University of Louisville, Case Western, University of Nevada - Las Vegas, and Midwestern - AZ. Beggers can't be choosers, so right now I'm just hoping for the best and hoping to get into one. Now, I can just focus on making this the best senior year possible.

And I have yet to see (500) Days of Summer. Just throwing it out there.

Delicious Lemonade

2009-08-31T01:06:00.002-05:00

For the past couple of weeks, I have been craving some good 'ol lemonade. This all started during Oriflamme when one of the leaders had a cup of lemonade from Triumph Bar and Grill. It looked and tasted absolutely delicious and refreshing. I remember reading a couple of recipes for cool summer drinks during my long hours at Best Buy over the summer. I didn't get to make a picture of my creation but it was really easy to make.

Citrus-ade

1. Make a simple syrup by boiling 4 cups of water and 2 cups of sugar, depending on how sweet you like your drinks. Add 2 sprigs of fresh mint as well.
2. While that's boiling, squeeze the juice of 2 lemons, 1 lime and 1 orange. Strain the juice to take out the pulp and seeds.
3. Cut thin slices of lemon, lime and orange and place in pitcher.
4. Remove the mint leaves from the the simple syrup and combine with the freshly squeezed juice.
5. Add ice cubes and allow mixture to chill to a nice cold temperature. Add fresh mint when serving.

Even better, add some vodka and make it a fiesta. HOLLA.

I want my mama's egg rolls

2009-08-26T21:22:00.003-05:00

I just got back from the gym and I am hungry. I have no protein in my apartment except for some Bocas and one tilapia fillet. I need to go to the grocery store soon and pick up some essentials. Anyways, I wish I had taken my mother's up on her offer of making me some eggrolls to bring down to school and freeze them for when I want something quick to eat (as do my roommates).

I remembered these Vietnamese Summer Rolls that I had at Pho Grand and thought they would be pretty easy to make. I found some recipes online and I might try to make some this weekend once I get a chance to go to the grocery store. They're really easy to make and are can be really light and fresh. I found this recipe on FoodSkop's blog:

1-2 packages of banh trang rice papers 8- inches round
1 bunch of Boston lettuce or bag of spinach leaves
1-2 small seedless cucumbers, peeled and cut into strips
1 cup of shredded carrots
1 bunch of bean sprouts
1 lb of cooked shrimp, rinsed and drained
1 mango, peeled and cut into strips
1 handful of chives cut into 3-inch strips
3 scallions, cut into 1-inch long pieces and julienned
1 bunch of mint leaves
Spicy Peanut Sauce

A lot of variations can be made to it too. I like mine with lots of cilantro and mint, and shrimp can be substituted with finely cut strips of pork or beef. I love me some mangoes too. Until I go to the grocery, some frozen blueberries will have to do for now to satisfy my stomach. Off to the first penny pitchers of the year at Humps!

Senior Year

2009-08-24T15:59:00.003-05:00

I can't believe today was the first day of classes of my last year here at SLU. It only seemed like yesterday I set foot on this campus. This past week has flown by with Oriflamme activities - from moving in the new students to hosting welcome week activities. Its a whole lot of work and I am exhausted, but I really did love it. Only my fellow Oriflammers can understand why we do it every year. It's one weekend out of the year; plus I've met some really awesome people I would not have met if I had not done Oriflamme.

With my senior year ahead of me, I still have a lot I want to accomplish before I leave SLU/STL. It's an ongoing list and I need to put it down on paper so I don't forget, but there is still so much I want to see and experience before graduation. I want to:
- get a 4.0 gpa
- go to Blueberry Hill at night
- attend more sporting events, especially the volleyball game against PennState this Saturday
- attend a concert at the Pageant
- run to the Arch and back
- run the 1/2 Marathon in the spring
- try new and different restaurants/coffee houses/hangouts

There are plenty of other things that I just can't remember right now. The main goal for this week at least is to finish my application to dental schools and finalize the list I am applying to for admittance. My personal statement is almost done; I just feel like it's just sounding pretty standard. That's what editing is for, right? Life post-graduation is right ahead, but there's plenty of time for road stops along the way.

Spotlight: Ke$ha

2009-08-15T08:41:00.006-05:00

I've been and avid fan of looking at music blogs, finding remixes of my favorite songs or finding new artists. Ke$sha is one of them. I first discovered her at PMA, which has several of her tracks. She signed onto RCA records. Her voice is probably recognizable since she sang the chorus on Flo Rida's "Right Round." She releasing her debut album in fall, and her single mid-September, but you can can get a free download of her song here.

Her music is very electro-pop, with fun, clever lyrics. She's seems very in your-face, no apologies kind of girl, which is refreshing. She reminds me of a mix of Gwen Stefani and Fergie. She also seems like she likes to party and drink beer - she had me at hello. Her songs are basically just catchy as hell and will get stuck in your head. Check, check, check her out!

It's Over!! And now I can breathe.

2009-08-13T23:09:00.003-05:00

So I took my DAT on Wednesday, and I did well!! I am so relieved words can't even explain. Now i just have to get my application finished and I'll be set. Then, I will just wait to see if I get interviews at schools. Just another step in my journey this year.

So I'm back in STL and the feeling is bittersweet. Just when I was feeling happy and comfortable to be home, it's already time to move back to school. Oh well. That's just the way the cookie crumbles I guess. No one is really back yet, and I am currently sitting in my apartment alone and bored.

Moving in was the easiest this year, probably because I'm living in the same apartment this year. I have learned that I have enough clothes to clothe a 3rd world country, no joke. Yet, I still make purchases. Even though no one was around today, I was kind of happy since I was able to clean my apartment to my liking. We all have different levels cleanliness that we like, and mine just happens to be a little higher than others. But I got everything done I wanted to do today, plus my room is back to the way it exactly was back in May.

While driving to Target with my parents today I saw a sign for a Greekfest during Labor Day weekend. I did my research, and it just so happens to be close, at St. Nicholas Greek Orthodox Church, right on Kingshighway and Forest Park Parkway. I'm really just excited to go and try the food.

Lambshank!

Chicken Oregano! OPA!

Spanakopites (Filo Dough with Spinach and Cheese!)

Baklava - aka Sex in a Bar Form

Plus there's entertainment and a market. This should be a nice place to spend a day during labor day weekend - it's on Saturday, Sunday and Monday. It's nice to make plans for the near future. And as bored as I am, its good to be back.

Pure Drive.

2009-08-10T00:33:00.003-05:00

Nope, the title is not about the Babolat tennis racquet Andy Roddick uses. Its basically the only thing that is keeping me going right now.

I haven't felt this way in a very long time... probably sophomore year of college, right before my Organic Chem II final. But somewhat different. At the time, I just wanted to pass Orgo II, but I seriously had a feeling that I was going to lsoe everything I had planned in so far in my life in one final for one course.

Now, that feeling is back except I feel like I actually have the chance to do well. Going into the final for organic, I did not know if I was going to pass. With the DAT, of course I'll pass since it's not a pass or fail test per se, but the score I get basically decides my fate, my career and the path that I will or will not take after graduation. I feel pretty confident in what I know and in my test taking abilities. I feel like I have a solid grasp in the information in every area. I know I will get at least average in every section, but average does not get you into dental school.

The more I study, the more I feel confident, but at the same time I feel like information is getting pushed out of my brain or confusing it. I'm just rambling right now and I know all I need to do is simply focus. I know I've put in the work; we'll see if it will pay off in the end in 3 days.

The amount of CO2 I have expelled with my deep breaths and long sighs will keep photosynthesis up and running for centuries. Yes, this is how my brain functions now.

Hopefully, a feeling of relief will come Wednesday at 5PM.

STRESSED TO THE MAX.

2009-08-09T02:47:00.002-05:00

17/22.

i have GOT to get that 17 higher. no excuses.

Sorry i have nothing to contribute to the blog world. the DAT has taken over my life and i am DETERMINED to get in the 20s for both of my scores. I need to remain focused and keep my spirits up, because NOTHING is worse than going into a test not feeling confident. High scores = interviews = chance to prove that this is what I want and need.

I plan on waking up early tomorrow and studying, going to see (500) Days of Summer w/Yayee, studying some more, and hopefully being able to take another full length Monday night after work.

It'll all be over in 4 days. In the mean time, enjoy this classic by Michael Bolton. This has been stuck in my head all weekend and I have NO idea why.

(500) Days of Summer...

2009-08-04T10:15:00.005-05:00

If summer was only 500 days, I'd have more time to study. 8 Days until the big DAT. and I'm studying like a drug addict on crack. And I'm progressing! My scores are going up where I want them to be... I just NEED to do better in Chem, my "waterloo" so be it.

But while I have been studying, I have been absolutely been loving the (500) Days of Summer Soundtrack. It is just a great mix of indie-artists and classic songs (who doesn't love Hall and Oates?). The songs are just really laid back, soothing, and just sound really organic. Of course they all deal with the ins and outs of love, which the movie is about. The cover art is awesome too. I have not seen the movie yet, but I intend firmly on taking a break this week to see it. It's only play in select theatres up in Chicago, but I'm more than willing to make the trek up to the city to see it. Zooey Deschanel looks hot as always, and its good to see Joseph Gordon-Levitt doing work outside of 3rd Rock from the Sun.

So planned activities for my week: study of course, tennis, Hooters, 21st Bday party, work, and see this movie (hopefully!).

Chocolate Caramel Cookie Bites

2009-07-31T00:17:00.004-05:00

I stumbled upon this recipe for Chocolate Caramel Cookie Bites online one day, courtesy of ADashofSass.com, and they looked too decadent and delicious to not try for myself. I decided to bake them today to give them to the dentist I've been shadowing all summer as a little thank you present tomorrow. I want to rename these cookies something dental, like "Chocolate Caramel Cavity Cookies." Yep that works.

[My cookies cooling off...]

[The sweet, warm caramel center, as modeled by my sister...]

They turned out pretty decent. I added a little too much flour while rolling out the dough making it separate, so the cookies were hard to roll smoothly at first. But all in all, I say it was a success! And I made them while on Vicodin (I've been having stomach pains for the past week). Double success!

Recipe:

Chocolate Caramel Cookie Bites
Adapted from Smitten Kitchen’s Brownie Roll-Out Cookies

3 cups all-purpose flour
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp baking powder
1 cup unsalted butter, softened
1 1/2 cups granulated sugar
2 large eggs
1 tsp vanilla extract
2/3 cup unsweetened cocoa*
1 bag of caramels, unwrapped
1/2 cup raw or turbinado sugar (for rolling)

Directions:

- Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
- Whisk dry flour, salt and baking powder in bowl and set aside.
- Mix butter, sugar, eggs, vanilla and cocoa in mixer. Gradually add flour mixture, and mix until smooth.
- Wrap dough ball in plastic and chill for at least one hour.
- Roll out cookie dough on floured counter. Cut into roughly 1 1/2 – 2 inch diameter circles or squares (the shape and precision of the cut section doesn’t really matter since you will be wrapping it around the caramel anyway), brushing extra deposits of flour off the top.
- Roll the dough around an unwrapped caramel. Roll the dough back and forth in your hands until it forms a smooth ball.
- Roll the ball in a bowl of raw or turbinado sugar, pressing slightly to coat with sugar.
- Bake on a parchment-lined baking sheet for 10-12 minutes until the cookies are firm.
- Transfer to a wire rack to cool.

Favorite Three Things at the Moment

2009-07-29T11:06:00.008-05:00

1. Chicago Premium Outlets in Aurora, IL
I usually make a trip out here with my family once a summer, most of the time right before school starts to do some "school shopping." I'm always a fan of not paying retail, especially since I wear pretty basic stuff i.e. solid v-necks, polos, crew shorts, flip-flops. Plus, they have outlet stores to places I like - J. Crew, Gap, Banana Republic and Lacoste. I ended up getting lots of new clothes for the school year. Who would pass on getting a pair of J.Crew jeans for under $30 after getting 55% off? I also got some new v-necks, long sleeves, sweaters, polos, and shorts that should suffice for the semester.

2. Dirt Devil Kone
This little nifty home tool was on clearance at Best Buy (my place of work) for $14.99 and I thought it would add in several ways to my apartment this upcoming year. 1 - help keep the apartment clean, 2 - hopefully inspire my roommate to clean/vacuum up crumbs since it looks cool, 3 - be a conversation piece during parties. It's pretty awesome.

3. "Down" by Jay Sean ft. Lil Wayne

[Image courtesey of hiphop-n-more.com]

So I caught on the Jay Sean wave right before this track blew up on the charts, and I constantly find myself playing this track on repeat while driving. I always did have a knack for hearing hits, like Clive David. But let me tell you why I am a fan of the song/artist. Jay Sean's is basically the United Kingdom's equivalent of Ne-Yo, who I am fan of since he produces, writes and sings his own music. Plus, Jay Sean is Punjabi, an ethnic group around south Asia. I'm always supportive for ethnic R&B singers (come on Anoop Desai - this should inspire you to breakthrough!). He was going to attend med school, but left to follow his dreams in music. Pretty ballsy I say. The song itself is catchy, danceable, and features Lil Wayne (and who doesn't like a little Weezy breakdown in their songs?). I hope just Jay Sean will not be a one hit wonder in the U.S. (Click the picture for his music video on YouTube... his dancing could use some work)

Honorable mention: Jazmine Sullivan - Bust Your Windows. She's Missy Elliott's protege... soulful, strong, and catchy. DL both these songs NOW.

DAT's My Life...

2009-07-29T00:10:00.002-05:00

The two pictures above basically represent my life for the next two weeks: STUDY STUDY STUDY. My test is in exactly two weeks, and basically the DAT is all that is on my mind. Today was my last DAT review class with Kaplan, and they made sure to tell us to take some time out each day to NOT study and relax. What a perfect way to relax but blog ay?! But yes, those are images of just my 2nd review notes of the Bio section. Before you judge, let me tell you why I use colored paper:

1. To stimulate my visual learning
2. It helps my memory i.e. I can remember I put notes on Classification on the blue sheet of paper
3. I get it for free from work

I really need to make sure I review every section concurrently to get the most out of studying. I still need to make a calendar for myself for the next two weeks, including scheduled fun time. Basically my only two outings for the next two weeks is a Chicago Fire soccer match this Saturday, and then my friend Lauren's 21st next Friday. These next two weeks are going to fly by... I can just feel it. Then I'm back to the STL the very next day. Everyone: be prepared to get hammered August 13th. NO IFS, ANDS, or BUTS.

I will try to use my blog as a no DAT zone in order to relieve some stress, so I'm going to try my best to not address that huge and important part of my life. In other dental related news, I have a list of 16 schools I'm applying to, and I am almost done w/my personal statement. I need to edit it greatly still, and feedback from my friends will definitely assist me along in the editing process.

I just can't wait for this whole process to be over.

Boston Sailing Center + Free Sailing Lessons = Great Way to Spend an Afternoon

2009-07-24T09:25:00.004-05:00

[Picture Courtesey of BostonSailingCenter.Com]

Ahoy mateys! While in Boston, Shay was able to find free sailing lessons through this sailing club/school called Boston Sailing Center, located on the Lewis Wharf, which if I do remember correctly, is a little bit past the aquarium. What we attended was really an open house of the club, trying to get people interested in sailing, buy lessons and eventually a membership from them. It seemed like a cool idea and something I would be interested in if I lived in Boston. They teach you how to sail through their lessons, and then through their membership, which I'm sure is pretty pricey, you are able to rent sailboats for however long period of time and then return it. Maintenance of all the sail boats is taken care by the company, as well as the insurance. Sweet right?

We arrived pretty early, but we waited a pretty long time to get our free lesson, which was the only thing that left a sour taste in my mouth. Besides that, it was great. They provided free refreshments during our wait time - water, BOXED WINE!, and Harpoon IPA! They had me at hello! Then we headed out to the sail boat for our short, but awesome sailing lesson!

[View of Boston Harbor from our Sailboat]

Our sailing lesson was pretty awesome. There was six of us total, which was a good size. Just watching them raise the sails and pull ropes and such was fascinating. Our assistance was needed every once in awhile.

[The massive sail]

Then, we were able to take the wheel and sail the boat ourselves. Naturally, I volunteered in order get the most out of my sailing experience. Being in control of the sail boat was pretty much like driving a car, turning the wheel and then centering it again. It flowed pretty easily to my surprise. The wind that day was pretty crazy, and I kind of lost control at one point. As I was trying to bank right, the wind was pretty wild and the boat was nearly sideways to the right. Annndddd that's when I gave the wheel to someone else.

[AY AY CAPTAIN!]

But being in Boston Harbor was perfectly picturesque. I could definitely just spend an entire day on a sail boat, floating in the harbor with friends without a care in the world. This was one of my favorite experiences the entire weekend, even if it was just for thirty minutes or so. I definitely give these lessons two thumbs up and recommend heading out to the wharf to take advantage of the opportunity.

[A Boston summer in a single picture]

Harpoon Brewery!

2009-07-23T10:51:00.007-05:00

I am relatively new to this "beer" world since the majority of beer that I have drank before this past year or so has been Miller Lite, Coors Lite, Nattie, or Bud Lite, which I would not consider quality beer. I knew there was better, higher quality beer, but didn't really know the different until now. After going on these brewery tours, I have a new found respect for beer and put it on the same level as a fine wine.

So we visited Harpoon Brewery, located right by Boston Harbor, tucked away in this commercial warehouse district. It was a little bit of a trek, just like Regina Pizza, but well worth it. Since it was a Sunday tour, we paid a $5 charge, while on the weekdays its free. The founders of Harpoon started the brewery because they were sick of American beer and liked the quality and taste of European beer, so they decided to open up their own brewery (talk about the American spirit, ah?) It's a relatively new company, started in the late 1980s. I am pretty bummed they do not ship to Chicago or St. Louis because their beer was delicious, but hopefully their company will expand and start to in the new future.

The tour itself consisted of learning what beer is made of (water, yeast, hops and barley, NOT wheat as our friend stated aloud), the entire process of the brewery (from mixing, to filtrating, to fermentation), and then packaging. The warehouse itself was cool since it was built to withstand a bomb attack (keeping their beer nice and safe).

[Filtration tank]

[Fermentation Tanks]

[Warehouse/Packaging]

Of course the best part of the tour was the tasting portion, which consisted of receiving a 3 oz tasting glass, and the tour guides allowing us to sample as much beer as we wanted to during the hour. They had all their beers on tap, letting us try their whole line of beers. My personal favorites was their class 1. Harpoon IPA, 2. UFO Rasberry Hefeweizen, 3. UFO White, 4. Hapoon Cider, and the 5. Harpoon Leviathan Imperial IPA. "UFO" stands for "UnFiltered Offering" (cool marketing scheme) and the Leviathan series is Harpoon's line of beers with bigger tastes and larger alcohol content.

Overall, the tour was awesome. The $5 was completely worth all the beer we could drink. The tour guides were friendly and really seemed to enjoy their job. Who wouldn't? - you brew beer, you serve beer, and you get free beer. Seems like a job made in heaven.

[Photo courtesy of Harpoon Brewery Flickr]

Mama Mia! Pizzeria Regina!

2009-07-22T11:00:00.006-05:00

[11 1/2 Thatcher Street, Boston, MA]

So one of my first memories of my trip to Boston was dinner Friday night at Regina Pizza, located in little Italy in the North End of Boston. It was tucked away in a further street from the main street running through the Italian village. A little complicated to find, but definitely worth the trek!

Not the biggest of restaurants, but this was the original location until it somewhat expanded itself as a company. The line outside is usually long with a wait time ranging from 20 minutes to an hour due to its small space, but it is worth the wait, and time goes by quickly when you're with people you like as I always say (unless you're hungry, and then you just get crabby).

Like I said the restaurant is pretty small, but that adds to the charm and atmosphere of Regina Pizza. Our table was right next to the Kitchen Window, smelling the sweet smell of the pizzas coming through. The waitresses were also a pleasure to observe and watch, with their thick Boston accents and no-frills attitude. The music was great as well, with both patrons and waitresses joining in on classics like Frankie Valli's "You're Just Too Good to be True." Seemed like the perfect place for friends to congregate on a Friday night after a long work week to kick back with a couple of pizzas and beeerrrsss.

The prices were incredibly reasonable, with pies ranging from $10 for a 10'' to $20 for a 16'', which can easily be split and shared among a group. The menu offers a wide range of pies, with plenty of vegetarian options as well. We got the Spinaci E Pomodoro pizza, which had spinach, cherry tomoatoes, fresh mozarella cheese and basil. It was absolutely delicious. Fresh ingredients, great crust, and the cheesiest of cheeses. It definitely ranks in my top 5 pizzas I've had, and that's a pretty tough list to crack into since I'm a huge fan of deep dish Chicago Pizza.

[Spinaci E Pomodoro Pizza... are you salivating yet?]

If I was choosing Dental Schools strictly on the quality of food of the location, Boston would be at the top of my list. Good thing its schools are half decent as well. Got any pizza recommendations from your hometown?

Woordd to your Matttherrrr

2009-07-20T23:01:00.004-05:00

[that title would be "Word to your mother" in a heavy Bostonian accent]

[View from sailboat in Boston Harbor]

Im back from my 4-day excursion in Boston visiting my good friend Shay! The whole trip probably ranks in my top 5 cities in the U.S. and top 10 vacations I've had. It was just a great experience to walk around a new city that was similar in many regards to Chicago, but so different in other aspects, too. Just some aspects on what I loved:

Size:

The city is big enough to actually be considered a city in my opinion, but not so overpopulated or huge that you can't walk distances. I am sure the city is bigger than what I had actually seen during my trip, but the amount I did experience made the city the perfect size.

History:

There was so much history throughout the city, by just the architecture itself to the original brick sidewalks (even though my calves are killing me right now). It was a pretty cool feeling to know that you were surrounded by and stepping on the same pavements and structures that existed during the very birth of the U.S. Very patriotic, I know.

Architecture:

Just a great mixture, or mezcla as I like to call it, of modern and historic. It didn't seem like the modern overtook the historic aspects of the city at all, but rather blended in harmoniously.

Transportation:

The T, Boston's version of Chicago's "L," is basically twins with the Windy's City form of Public Transportation. I found it very easy to use and easy to pick up. I am pretty horrible with directions, but I easily picked up where stations were located and which to take to go where in the short 4 days I was in Boston.

However, I do have some negatives about Boston. The cobblestone sidewalks were uneven in places, but what should I expect if they have been there since the 1700s or even earlier? The one thing that stuck out in my mind as a thorn in my side was the alcohol laws. Restaurants cannot, by law, accept out of state IDs to sell alcohol to patrons, which is absolutely ridiculous in my opinion. Plus, no happy hour specials are allowed either. Why is this a bad thing? One, it is horrible for businesses and for tourism for the city, and two, is completely LAME. However, few restaurants/bars in the city actually follow this law as I experienced over the weekend, since it would hurt their businesses, so I don't see what is the point of having it in the first place. Maybe I need clarification on exactly what this law actually is or states, but I know one thing: it is stupid. Especially when you have the largest craft beer brewery founded in your city.

From tomorrow until August 12th, my only focus will be my DAT, finalizing my list of school's I'm applying to, and finishing my personal statement (hopefully). I just need to get my act together, finish these applications, and plan for the future. I LOVED Boston, and by seeing the city has made me really want to get accepted in either BU or Tufts. The four week countdown until the big DAT starts tomorrow. Hold on tight.

In the next days, I'm going to post different places in Boston I visited and different things I was able to experience that were awesome in my opinion. Hopefully I can provide some good insight to good 'ol Boston, Mass. Plus, I'll be sharing some funny experiences and giving my own opinion on the different situations that always seem to occur in my life.

What does Cheers, Sam Adams, and the Red Sox have in common?!

2009-07-16T23:18:00.005-05:00

I'm finally off to Boston tomorrow! My flight is in roughly 7 hours, flying out of Midway and arriving in Boston, MA @ 9:35 EST. I really think this trip will be great.

Shay has a great weekend planned that includes eating at different places around the city including Little Italy, Mike's Pastry and Dim Sum, Happy Hour with Mojitoes and a Raw Bar, Sailing Lessons, the Sam Adams Brewery Tour, Booze Cruise, and a trip out to Salem, MA, as well as hitting all the historic landmarks along the Freedom Trail! In my free time, I'll be visiting Tuft's and BU's dental schools, as well as being incredibly camera friendly and taking tons of pictures of all of my adventures over the weekend.

I may even start a Flickr after this trip! Off I go to the East Coast!

2009-07-14T14:58:00.001-05:00

Writer's (Road) Block

2009-07-14T00:51:00.004-05:00

Have you ever had that problem of knowing exactly what you wanted to say, but not knowing exactly how to put into words? I wish I had this problem at any other time in my life besides now when Im typing my personal statement for dental school.

Logical organization, grammar, vocabulary, and how to catch and keep my audience's attention are all flowing through my head while I type, clouding up my ability to just type and let it just flow out onto Word.

My initial essay was good, but not great, nor did it standout. My realizations from my newest shadowing experience has really helped me learn more about the field and how past experiences outside my scope of "dentistry preparation" in the past 3 years have really paved a way towards dental school. I DO NOT want to use imagery in my essay because that's not the audience at all, but I DO somehow wabt ti convey my realizations and thoughts in a personal way that doesn't come off as contrived or cheezy.

FML and writers roadblock.

This essay will be completed by Friday. Hopefully.

Weekend already?!

2009-07-10T01:23:00.002-05:00

This week just flew by. I guess everything just kind of blurs together when you're plate is so full. I did get some tennis in this week, which always makes me happy. The never ending match against my coworker once again has not ended... but it will hopefully be decided in Part III. I have my eye on a new racquet, but once again I will have to safe up for it. I like goals though, and having one that prevents me from spending money on frivolous things is always a positive, right?

i only have 4 more chapters to review in natural sciences for my DAT! i see the light at the end of the tunnel!!! then back again into that dark tunnel to review AND comprehend better the stuff i learned the first time around. my brain is going crazy. BUT i am proud that i am going to be finished review everything ahead of my schedule. I need to take a full length DAT for Kaplan to see where I stand "@ midterms" and see where I need to focus my attention on, which will be great to really asssess where I am truly at in terms of review. Hopefully it will not be too bad of a wake-up call. Plus I'm working phone operator at Best Buy this week, so I can study during my work shifts, plus only one day of shadowing! This will be a great week to get a jump start on my 2nd round of reviewing, or begin/edit my personal statement, along with sending out transcripts from schools. I feel like I still have tons more to do, which is true! I want to be done with my application by August, so I have NOTHING to think about before the DAT and before I return back to SLU.

I've finally become content with summer, being at home, and just living in the moment of friends here. Being in the company of each one really makes me appreciative of my time back in Chicago and what I miss while I'm at school.

In more happier news, one week I'll be in Boston visiting Shay, and it will be a great break from studying and summer in Chicago. It'll actually feel like an old summer where you take vacations to new places, except I'll be without family and I'll be twenty-one. I get paid tomorrow too! Hopefully I'll be too preoccupied with other things this week to prevent me from spending that money, helping me save it for my trip. I just keep reminding myself that I don't want to be broke while I'm on vacation. What a horrible situation that would be! However, my list of things that I want/need keeps getting longer, which I will share eventually, which requires quite the amount of chedda. The woes of being an adult, right?

Weekend is jam packed with events that studying will have to be schedules around, including 4 birthday parties. (!) Hopefully by volunteering to drive, my money will be safe and saved.

Anddd I finally got some blank CDs after finally getting my employee discount back @ BBY today. New CDs for my car and for mis amigos will be in the works! Have a good weekend everyone!

Week Wrap-Up 1

2009-07-06T19:56:00.013-05:00

1. Organic Chemistry is recognizable the second time around, but in no way is it easier. Taking orgo as a sophmore, I really wasn't looking at the big picture first. I simply just looked and tried to memorize every single detail from the beginning. Looking over the same content a second time around, by looking at the big picture first, and noticing words and context clues and remembering bits of information from sophmore year, is making things a little less stressful than 2 years ago, but stressful nevertheless. 6 Weeks until the big DAT...

2. Bars are better than nightclubs. Usually there is none to minical cover at bars. Attire can be casual, and sneakers are acceptable. Nightclubs have pretty steep cover (decent ones atleast) and drinks are expensive. Plus, sneakers really aren't acceptable (but a good excuse to get a nice pair of brown leather shoes), and there isn't much seating available unless you're in VIP. Nightclubs are good every now and then, but bars is where it's at, and is easier on the wallet, depending on your tab at the end of the night.

3. I love salt and pepper porkchop. All I can say is if you haven't had it yet, try it ASAP.

4. Andy Roddick's relevancy is on the incline in the tennis world. Even though he lost to the great Roger Federer in this year's Wimbledon's final, he played the best he has in years throughout the entire tourney and in the final. The second set tiebreak will probably be in the back of his mind for awhile, but he should focus on the positives and really use it to propel his career forward into this year's U.S. Open. In the women's side, Serena Williams continues to dominate, winning her 3rd Wimbledon over Venus.

5. "Get Involved" by Genuwine ft. Timbaland and Missy Elliott is this summer's sleeper hit. Hopefully it will blow up on the radio and the charts because it's too good to be missed, and hopefully is a sign to come of Timbaland's new album dropping in the fall.

4 Dances Hot in the Streets...

2009-07-02T11:27:00.004-05:00

... and I am completely behind! YouTube these and incorporate these next time your out in the clubs, sipping on your Hen or Grey Goose:

1. The Halle Berry
2. The Stanky Leg
3. The Bobblehead
4. The Swag and Surf

I saw Transformers 2 last night since Public Enemies sold out. Even though I didn't see the first one, I did enjoy the second, even though it was a little hard to follow at the beginning. Visually, it was great (and Megan Fox isn't bad either). Story was mediocre, but you can't have it all can you?

A little Halle Berry action:

Gotta get it right while you got the time.

2009-06-29T12:05:00.005-05:00

So it's not a good day to be a celebrity these days is it? First Ed McMahon, then Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson in the same day, AND THEN Billy Mays. Most shocking, in my own opinion was probably Billy Mays, then Michael Jackson. Though his personal life was a complete hot mess and circus in itself, MJ's songbook is one of, if not the best, collection of work. This is proven by the fact that everyone and their mother in Best Buy the past 4 days have been looking for any CD by him, and their anger and angst when they find out we're sold out.

"My deepest apologies that we don't have a backup stock of his CDs just in case he died."

In all respect though, hopefully all 4 of them are in a better place.

In personal news, my journey towards dental school has progressed quite nicely. I started my ADEA application, the common app for dental schools. I just need to send out my transcripts from ALL the schools I have taken classes at and do my personal statement, which should be another challenge and hurdle in itself. I have one done, but I just don't feel it's personal enough. It's very generalized and doesn't provide any insight on myself and the profession. I want to finish a rough draft of it in 2 weeks... or have 2 different ones and get opinions from others about them. Also, I FINALLY scheduled my DAT for August 12th. Atleast I have a date so I know what I need to accomplish by what time. I feel like I will be prepared IF I do what I know i need to do, but it's easier said than done. I've written on a piece of paper my different motivations just to remind me when the motivation tank is lacking, and that usually does the trick. Just constantly reminding myself of the importance of this test helps me to lay on the gas pedal and just accelerate forward.

On the financial front, I am no longer broke and I'm trying my best to keep this money in my account so I have some cushion for those rainy days that might occur in the future that requires me to spend more money than I have. Mostly, it will be for my trip to Boston, which I booked today! May it be only for four days, I do get a vacation this summer. Like I had said before, Boston University and Tufts both have dental schools, so Im going to check them out and hopefully get some insight on them. They don't offer tours or personal appointments, which sucks, but atleast I will get a feel for the city, the campus, and just the overall feeling of the schools. In my downtime, I'll be researching Boston and finding places to visit. It's my luck to find that the Boston Red Sox have a 6 games on the road when I visit. I was more than willing to shell out money for 2 tickets just to experience a baseball game at Fenway Park, even though I'm not the biggest baseball fan. But I am sure there will be plenty of other things to see in the city! Just another thing to look forward to this summer!

Goals for the week:
- Finish 1/2 of Biology Review
- Finish ATLEAST 1/4 of Orgo Review, if not 1/2
- Go to Navy Pier's Beer Garden AND not spend an obscene amount of money
- Start Personal Statement

Ending on a good note, here's an awesome cover of "Man in the Mirror" by James Morrison. I'm thinking of just doing short, quick entries instead of long, drawn out entries of things that are worth posting. Maybe even doing a quick 5 list sort of deal at the beginning of each week of things I remembered/learned/thought about from the week prior. Thoughts?

Dense update.

2009-06-22T02:10:00.004-05:00

I have neglected this blog a little bit for the past two weeks, but things have just gotten busy, and in all honesty, nothing has really sparked my interest enough for me to blog about, except probably my reaffirmation that all I want to do in my life is be a dentist after my latest shadowing experiences. And I don't even really feel about blogging about that either right now.

But hopefully fun things are in store for the next 2/3rds of summer (which has just flew by so quickly). I've decided to take my DAT before school starts sometime in mid-August. I feel less stressed after taking my diagnostic test. With only reviewing 2/3 of just GenChem, I did average, which I was pretty proud about considering the small amount of studying I had done. Plus, I would have done better IF I HAD JUST READ THE STUPID QUESTION before answering. I finished reviewing GenChem today finally, and my plan is to be finished going over Bio AND Orgo the first time by Mid-July. I just really need to get my act together and set a schedule for the rest of the summer. But after I review Bio and Orgo, I feel I'll do well on the test and my DAT score will allow me to ATLEAST matriculate and get some secondaries apps/interviews, and that is all I need. As I say now and as I said before, MATRICULATION IS ALL I CARE ABOUT RIGHT NOW. Once I matriculate, my interview will be the next hurdle I will have to jump, which with a little bit of practice won't be too high of a leap. But I've learned to take one step at a time.

Beside the DAT, a trip to Boston may be in my future. In the weirdest of occurences, me and my sister somehow convinced my dad to allow me to go to Boston, AND also pay for 1/2 my trip so I can see two Dental school out there - Boston University and Tufts University, and of course and just as important, visit and explore the city with Shay! I am more than thrilled to go out to the East Coast and be in another city that I have only heard great things about from everyone and everything, not to mention I am 21 and two weeks old and my ID will be put to great use. (However, apparently Boston has some weird laws about alcohol consumption. I will just have to see about this myself.)

A possible roadtrip out to Washington DC may be in the works, along with another camping trip. I haven't seen as many people as I've liked to, but coordinating schedules and free time gets tricky as jobs and responsibilites set in, but there is still time to be used. Overall, this summer has been solid so far. I miss the STL, but I keep reminding myself that I'm there 3/4 of a year and I'll be there again in 2 months. PLUS it's summer, and being in STL reminds me of schoolwork. I always feel out of the loop, though, or like I'm missing out on things, but then I remember all the things I miss out on at home when I'm at school. Plus, time away from people is essential sometimes in order to just reset and get that "fuggetaboutit" attitude. I'm really trying to apply the "Live and let live" motto and not overanalyze things as much as I usually do. Maybe its because I'm starting to trust that things are pretty stable, and having belief in that idea and other people is making me feel less worried/anxious like previous summers. And just experiencing more things as I have gotten older has helped me to find out that things sometimes just happen and you have to roll with the punches or whatever is thrown at you. I definitely not taking a complete backseat approach to life, but somethings just can't be stopped or, in the grand scope of things, do not matter. And to be completely honest again, I'll probably want to be home 3 months into the school year anyways because that's just the way the world works for me, so I'm just trying to take in every moment back home as much as I can. Plus people would like to be in my position of being at home for the summer, so I just need to take advantage of this time.

In other unimportant but I guess interesting news, my goal of watching as many critically acclaimed movies and performances this summer is going smoothly - I've watched The Reader, Rachel Getting Married (FINALLY) and have Milk and The Wrestler in the wings waiting, all rented from the library since they're only $1 and I have no money. Being broke really does make you think about what you spend your money on and how to be thrifty. It did help me show what I have already, which is a lot, and that I may need to save more and spend less. However, this notion will probably be thrown out the window as soon as I get my first paycheck.

Until I find some sort of inspiration or something meaningful to blog about, this is the best this blog is gonna get. :/

OH! Wallflowers @ the Taste this Saturday. I'm a little excited. And I have this strange feeling that when Keri Hilson and Ne-Yo perform @ the Taste, Kanye will just bust out on the stage too and give a surprise appearance. This feeling could be just a sense of false hope though.

Dance Party.

2009-06-10T12:38:00.000-05:00

Liver Punch.

2009-06-08T01:46:00.003-05:00

While watching WEC (World Extreme Cagefighting) this evening, I have added another goal to my list of things to do this summer: make a drink recipe titled "Liver Punch." The name is such a play on words it makes me incredibly proud when I think of it. I thought of it while cheering on a fighter named Uriah, screaming at him to liver punch his opponent - giving me my "light bulb moment." The drink will "punch" your liver because it will be strong and and just oh so good. Props to my friend Jisselle for suggesting that the punch be yellow, like bilirubin - a waste byproduct of the liver.

So the drink needs to be:
- Alcoholic
- Yellow
- Delicious
- Slightly Acidic

I was thinking of using lemonade, Squirt, Fresca, or Mountain Dew, mixed with some sort of flavored vodka, like grapefruit. The proportions and products are still up in the air. This will be an ongoing project, and hopefully by the end of summer it will be perfected, just like God's Juice.

Cambiar.

2009-06-03T01:26:00.003-05:00

Happy Hump Day!

3 more days until I turn the big 2-1, and then it's all downhill from there according to many. In all honesty, I can believe in that phrase. After this particular birthday, there are no birthdays that have any "milestones" attached to it, but I truly believe that each year should be a celebration. Each year marks a milestone of reaching another year - another year of living, another year full of memories, another year completed. And then there's the future to look forward to. Hoping to survive another year and hoping that the next year will somehow "beat" the year before, or in my case, just live up to the one prior.

Just typing this right now gives me anxiety - tightness in my chest and a feeling of uneasiness in my body. I have this love/hate relationship with change, or atleast thinking of it. Simply thinking about one year from Saturday, or even in this moment typing, makes me wonder where I will be 365 days from now. I know what is almost certain (since nothing is guaranteed in life) - I will have graduated from SLU, be turning 22, and having my whole life really laid out in front of me. Even with these "guarantees," there hundreds more of questions - will I be accepted into a Dental school? What will I be doing if I don't? Will I be happy? What will I be feeling/facing? What will I have done that has changed the course of my life? What will be different?

Every year, especially during this time, I try to think of what I was thinking or feeling at the moment one year ago. I tend to have these thoughts I guess since it's the end of a school year. Every year is different. I've always blogged about it in my personal blog. How have things changed? Have I grown up? Have I matured? Have I done what I wanted? Do I feel satisfied with what I've completed and experienced? Its a never-ending game of questions. I'm always surprised when I compare my goals that I made and what actually has been accomplished, and by what I felt was a constant in my life at one point was actually just a variable one year later.

And looking even further down, I get even more anxious. Will I have a job? Who will I have kept in contact with? Will I be alone? Will all the relationships that I have cherished and built at one point in time be meaningless in the future? Not meaningless in the sense of what each has taught me, but meaningless in the idea that they don't exist. Gone. Not everything will change, but most things will.

But with all this anxiety and dislikement for change and future, there's always also a certain level of excitement - not knowing what lies ahead, what the future holds. Professionally, this level of excitement is very low, but personally, it's slightly higher, especially with other people. I feel it's fascinating thinking of what will happen to other people, but with my own life, it's nervewrecking, and that's normal. With other people, you don't have to deal with consequences of actions, or live through different sucesses or failures, but you do with your own life. And then there's your relationships with those other people and hoping where they will be (but maybe knowing deep down in your heart what actually will happen), which is both exciting and terrifying at the same time.

What I have learned, which is very generic, is that change happens no matter what, but the course and impact of it is ultimately left up to each person. Some things are just not in our control, but we do have some sort of say or do in what happens in our lives. The things that we do cherish and deem important will stay, and things that don't will fade away. Furthermore, some things, no matter how hard you try, will change. You can only work so hard to repair or fixate something. Some things don't budge, don't change, or even meet you halfway, but at the end of the day, if you know that you have tried your best, then there is nothing else you can do. That particular aspect of your life will just have to be dealt with in the best way seemed fit.

(Almost) 21 years have past, and I hope to have many more years in front of me. I just know Saturday night will be a blur (hopefully in a good sense).

airplanes.

2009-06-01T17:51:00.003-05:00

St. Louis-Lambert Airport
05.19.09

Comparison.

2009-05-26T11:47:00.004-05:00

Let me begin this post with a quote from Laguna Beach 2 by the great Talan:

"I don’t have a girlfriend because every girl I ever try to date, I compare to you. Wow. It’s like a line from a movie or something. Every girl I try to date, I compare to you, but there’s no comparison ‘cause there’s no girl like you that I’ve met thus far in my life. "

This post will not be about dating or girls at all. Let me just tell you I have a WEIRD memory; I remember the most random things you can ever think of in your life, mainly dealing with pop culture and reality television. This quote just cracks me up each time. I couldn't find a youtube clip of it because this quote really doesn't do it justice, but trust me, it is cheese-tastic and makes him look like a tool. It just had the word comparison in it, which you will see how that sort-of (but not really) ties into this post.

Anyways, I don't know what often I should update my blog, but I think a weekly post will be the minimum. I feel like I'll post an entry once I find something that I feel like I need to share. Today is the day i start my "summer schedule" - going to the library to study/review, run, and any other odds and ends that will be added in i.e. my job and shadowing, which I have yet to confirm. I have my job back at Best Buy (holla!) but I need to confirm that, and the Dentist I'm shadowing has yet to respond to my e-mail. Once again, motivation is key and I really just need to be on top of things and be proactive in accomplishing things.

And Happy Belated Memorial Day everyone. It seems just to be another holiday that gives people a day off and excuse to BBQ and drink. I mean that's how I celebrated. But I really didn't know the difference between Memorial Day and Veteran's Day until Wikipedia told me. Memorial Day is mainly for honoring those who died in the service, while Veteran's Day celebrates those still alive. Just a little information to add to your life if you care.

But what I'm getting at, or what I feel is worth sharing (which with more entries posted should become unnecessary to tell since this it is the whole "point" of my blog), is a conversation I had with my friend's mom. I went to my friend's house on Saturday to have some Mexican BBQ, which can I just say was one of the most delicious and fulfilling meals I have ever had in my life (and made up for the 7 months of no contact with this friend. I'm easy to please and forgive, what can I say). Skirt steak BBQ, hot dogs, tortillas, 2 salsas, fresh guacamole, 2 salads, refried beans, grilled cheese. I brought corn and fresh fruit - the list goes on. All prepared by my friend's mom, God bless her heart.

ANYWAYS, my friend's mother came out and talked to me and my other friend that came along, asking how college was going, how fast it went by, and etc. I LOVE talking with parents. I just feel like they can give great advice and wisdom, but also, some just genuinely love hearing stories and updates. Those parents that do care to hear about updates are ones that you have taken the time to create a relationship and have a conversation with in the past. No one wants to listen to some ass talk on and on if they don't care about the person. That's just common sense. But with me, I just feel like relationships with other people are the basis of life; you can't go on and not share a piece of your life with someone. It's human nature to share something.

Getting to the point, she gave the greatest advice that so happened to be along the same lines of my first blog. She said something along the lines of:

"As long as you're happy and passionate about what you're doing life is good. If it's flipping burgers, but you love it, that's your niche. And never compare what you have in your life to someone else, because that's when you will never be happy."

With myself, I always find myself comparing what I have to others, and trust me, I know its horrible, but I feel like it's something that just been instilled in me, but not in a negative way. My mom used it as motivation for me to be successful - looks at those cars, houses, things people had that I wanted or dreamed of having. She would always tell me I would get those things if I stayed in school, studied hard, got a job, etc. In that sense, I feel like comparing isn't a completely negative thing to do.

But in terms of other things, such as relationships, friendships, or even just things that can't be changed, comparing can be the ultimate demise of a person. I'll be the first to admit it - I'm a jealous person. But I feel like I'm jealous not in a spiteful sense the majority of the time, but in the sense that I just want the same things in my life. That doesn't make it any better, and I've been getting better at it. And receiving that advice from my friend's mom really just things into perspective again. I can only be truly happy by realizing what I do have already and not dwelling on what I don't have. Some things can be changed and be attained by working hard, and some things just fall into place when the time's right, but things that aren't meant to be won't happen. Everyone knows I love to rank things, especially when I'm drunk. And I probably give more weight on frivilous "rankings" than I should. I attribute that to probably my own personal insecurities and just needing to know where I stand. Since coming to college, things have just changed and I have never had something completely "solid." I feel like knowing where I stand gives me a gauge on if something is going to stay the same or change. (The idea of change can be a completely different post in itself.) It's just a personal thing.

But looking on my current relationships and friendships with people truly does make me happy. I am thankful that I have these people in my life. Do I wish some relationships were closer/better? Yes. But what I already have with these people is awesome; some people never even form relationships like these. And in terms of what I have in the material sense - everything I own, my house, getting an education - I am very lucky and fortunate. Everything I do have in my life right now - taking everything for what it is and NOT what it is not, is awesome. Looking at it at this perspective really does put everything into its proper place. Do I feel like I will be completely, 100% satisfied at some point? I hope. It might just be in my personality that I'm never satisfied, always wanting more. But with time, age and maturity, I feel like I'll grow out of it.

So Talan from LB Season 2, stop comparing and start living (or dating for that matter). And stop speaking like a tool.

Define Worth.

2009-05-22T13:56:00.004-05:00

It's been a couple of weeks that I have been contemplating starting a blog that I actually share with others and that other people can read, and today seemed to be the day that I actually create one. I've had a blog before, but it never seemed to have a purpose except give an account of my lame daily activities like "I ate an apple today." I didn't want to start a blog without an "idea" or a purpose. Something people would actually want to read or feel like they could comment or start a conversation. Plus, it seems like I need a positive outlet to let out my opinions and feelings on certain issues. I just needed a theme. I guess it was just a matter of motivation, but mostly inspiration.

Where did this inspiration come from? Well, my life wouldn't be my life if it did not come from some embarrassing or "lame" outlet, but oh well. I might as well be as transparent as I can be if I'm going to start this blog, right? Last night, I decided to catch the pilot episode of "Glee," the new TV show on FOX that's starting in the fall. I really enjoyed the show and it should be a good series this fall. My entire inspiration for this blog comes from a quote that is the description of my blog, written underneath my title above (^^^), but here it is again:

"...the only life worth living is one that you're really passionate about..."

(Watch the pilot on FOX's website to get the whole picture.) But that quote in itself is what inspired me, got my mind racing, and really gave me the idea to this blog.

I looked up the definition of worth and found the following:

"Worth - That quality of a thing which renders it valuable or useful; sum of valuable qualities which render anything useful and sought; value; hence, often, value as expressed in a standard, as money; equivalent in exchange; price.

It's a funny word, and if you keep staring at the word itself, it looks weird. But it does have a lot of dimension to it. And when you apply it to life, it holds a lot more weight and meaning. Everything I have ever done in my life has had a point or goal; "a means to an end" if you want to say. But what TRULY is point of everything I do? What is it's worth? Is it worth it? How do I differentiate if something is or isn't worthy? From the quote itself, life is only worth living if you are passionate about something. I'm passionate about a lot of things, or atleast I think i am. I define things that I'm passionate about as things I want to attain in my life; things that if I don't have or acomplish, my life will not be complete, such as being successful, making my parents proud, being better than average, learning as much as I can about things that interest me, being a good human. I am passionate about living life in general - being with my family and friends, having memories that when I die, I will be happy with my life.

So after all that rambling on, what is the point? The point of this blog is just to get my thoughts down on something concrete and to see and decide what I am doing or accomplishing each day is worth it. How am I benefitting from something? Why am I doing something if it's not worth it? It's also so share things that I'm passionate about, or things I deem "worthy" of sharing with others, might it be a quote, something I learned, a past memory, a picture (which is worth a thousand words), a website - WHATEVER. This might seem stupid to some, but then don't read and/or don't judge. I really don't think I'd be me if I didn't do things like blog or just ramble on about things and share them with people. It's a part that makes me who I am. In the end, this blog is for myself, and whoever feels free to read can do just so.

This summer is probably the most important of my life, since it basically molds my path towards my future and occupation. Everything that deals with my future in dentistry will be jampacked into one summer - studying for my DAT, taking the DAT, shadowing dentists and dental surgeons, preparing my applications, and practicing my interview questions (which I like to do by myself randomly when I'm walking. I already know what you're thinking). That will probably be a main topic of the blog, besides just random things over the summer that get my mind going. I think this is good for a first blog. (+) comments are welcome. Until next time.